Scandal (Tainted #1) Read online

  But that didn’t make sense, especially when he just stared out over the lake. She glanced around, looking for signs the journalist had arrived. There was a blond-haired man a few benches down and he held a paper, but didn’t look like he was paying much attention. He had more focus than the other people about, turning pages in a timely, methodical way. Maybe he was a guy from Taylor Made.

  Deciding to get the show going, she asked, ‘Then why did you insist on meeting?’

  He turned to face her. Even with his eyes cast in the shadow thrown by his cap, they still snagged her attention like nothing else in the world could. They were wary now and full of something she'd never seen on him. Was it remorse?

  No. Sebastian never had any regrets.

  He sighed deep, then said, ‘I don't know how to start other than to say I’m sorry. For the way things turned out, hell, for everything, really.’

  Her suspicious nature at least made sure she wasn’t a complete idiot, even though part of her wanted to believe he did feel shitty – he deserved to. ‘I suppose this is the part where you tell me how hurt you are, that I’ve had enough payback, and I should retract all my statements?’ She laughed a little. Like that would ever happen.

  ‘No, I'm not going to ask for anything from you. I just want you to know that even though you don't believe me, I never cheated on you. I’m guilty of a lot of things – especially treating you like you weren’t important to me, but I never betrayed you.’

  Either he was the most talented liar in the world, or he really meant it. If it was the latter, then everything she’d done after that day at Wimbledon had hurt him just as much as she thought he hurt her.

  Which meant, since she jumped straight into their bed with her ex-boyfriend, that she was the one who betrayed him. God, no wonder Sebastian had broken Jack’s nose.

  ‘She was all over you,’ Mai said, refusing to believe it. There was too much evidence and stories about what happened.

  Sebastian sighed. ‘We’d just won the mixed doubles and it was her first big win. Mai, she was excited and took it too far. Her career began and ended that day. She was a winner, but also the woman who was supposedly having an affair with an engaged man. No one would sponsor her after that. She had to quit.’

  Mai dipped her head, unable to look at him for a second longer. If he really was telling her the truth – and she couldn’t find a sign he was lying – she’d overreacted to the extremes. Hell, she’d caused such a fuss that the woman lost her career.

  But she couldn’t believe it yet. There were too many things that didn’t fit. ‘You were so distant. After we got engaged I barely saw you. I didn’t know what to think.’

  Moisture pooled in her eyes and a tear slipped free, trailing down her cheek. She wiped it away, hoping the journalist was too far away to hear their hushed conversation or she’d be in serious trouble with the magazine – the whole world, if this story broke.

  Sebastian took her hand and squeezed it. The tingles that danced through her veins at the connection iced her stomach with guilt. She’d had so much with him, but it always seemed too good to be true. When she thought he’d cheated, it made more sense than him wanting to be with her forever. She was an orphan who grew up passed from foster carer to foster carer, a burden to everyone who’d briefly taken her in.

  Was it so wrong to want someone’s undivided attention, to be adored for once?

  Sebastian hadn’t given her that. No one had, but she knew in her heart that Jack loved her and she was trying to accept the way he showed her love. But as Sebastian rubbed his thumb over her palm, her insides melted like they never had with Jack.

  ‘I mean it, Mai. I want to make things right between us, and the only way I can think to do that is by apologising.’

  She tugged her hand back, feeling like she was betraying her lover by touching him. ‘I don’t see the point of this conversation. Nothing’s changed.’

  He looked out across the lake again. ‘I read the article in Taylor Made.’

  There was no anger in his voice and he seemed relaxed, lounging back against the bench. She always assumed if they ever met in the future, when she’d got her revenge and he’d lost everything, that he’d hate her.

  She’d been prepared for that. She even had a speech prepared that would rub his nose in it over and over.

  To see that he wasn’t upset or angry threw her off-kilter.

  He took his cap off, then ran a hand through his hair. It had grown out and looked just as silky as she remembered. Mai folded her arms in case she had another moment of weakness and reached out to him.

  Sebastian met her eyes when he said, ‘I had no idea you felt the way you did. All I’ve thought about since I read the piece is how I could have done things differently. I just can’t think of anything except maybe retiring, but I wasn’t ready to back then.’

  Her heart took off on a canter as hope and attraction pulsed through her. Not only was he thinking about her, regretting how he treated her, but he was willing to retire soon? That would mean he’d be free to give her everything she’d wanted from him last year – everything she’d ever wanted from anyone.

  Mai shifted so her thigh was touching his. The sparks that sizzled in what little air was between them clouded her mind. When she placed her hand against his cheek, he didn't flinch away.

  His brows pulled together, but she didn't want him thinking about all the reasons why this was a bad idea – she didn't want to think of all the reasons either. So she closed the distance and kissed him with everything she had.

  He took hold of her shoulders and pushed her back. Her heart was going so fast she swayed a little and he pulled her closer until she could see properly. Mai cupped his face with both hands this time, but Sebastian pulled them away, then scooted over until he was at the edge of the bench.

  She looked at him then, saw the shock in his widened eyes, the irritation in his clenched jaw, and the lust for him sizzled into anger until she was too livid to speak.

  ‘Jesus, Mai. What the hell was that about?’ He glanced around, then cursed when someone caught his eye. ‘Did you have someone follow us?’

  She looked across the grass to see a dark-haired man with a camera. He gave Mai the thumbs up. Sebastian stood and the man bolted in the opposite direction, scoring another few curses from Sebastian.

  Mai smiled despite the fact he’d made her so angry by reeling her in only to reject her again. How silly she’d been to believe a bastard like him could change, could care. But she’d have her revenge for this. And it would be sweeter than an argument caught on camera.

  This would be the beginning of his end.

  ‘Mai!’ Sebastian grabbed her shoulder and shook. ‘Where’s he from?’

  She flashed her teeth and poured all her hatred for him into her scowl. ‘You’ll find out soon enough, you bastard. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.’ She got up, shoved out of his hold but he followed her. ‘I swear to God, Sebastian. You touch me again and I’ll scream bloody murder.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  Efficient was her middle name today.

  Alicia gathered the last of the papers scattered across the floor of her sitting room and shoved them into the file she had for the charity. Everything was set up and ready to go. She’d planned fundraising events for the next few years and set them in motion: she’d contacted all of the people Sebastian said may be interested, and even managed to get a few of the top names in sports out of them who’d also agreed.

  Several teenage hostels and youth centres in London had promised to send kids their way once the centre opened, and she’d sorted out the lease for the building, a few volunteers to run the show, and the equipment was scheduled to arrive any day.

  And to top it all off, she’d prepared a meal suited to his strict diet but would taste amazing.

  All in all, she’d totally kicked the day’s arse.

  By the time the knock at the door came a little after seven, she’d even had a chance to
run the vacuum around her flat. Skipping to the door, anticipation curled in her stomach and she wondered if he’d be too hungry to squeeze in some fun before dinner.

  Alicia pulled the door open and was about to pounce on him, but Sebastian’s jaw was taut and his stance was so rigid he might as well have worn a sign round his neck saying ‘Stay away’.

  ‘Are you alright?’ she asked, opening the door wider and standing to the side to let him in.

  He didn’t get far before he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck. Alicia wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. The fact that he was looking for comfort frightened her.

  He was strong, he was self-assured, and a little egotistic. Whatever happened today must be bad.

  She tried again. ‘Sebastian, what happened?’

  Still no answer, but after a second of holding her so hard she couldn’t breathe, he pulled back, threw off his cap, then his mouth was on hers.

  This wasn’t the kind of kiss that made her want to put off dinner until, say, five in the morning – though the way her body reacted to him wasn’t far off.

  Sebastian kissed her with a tenderness laced with desperation, like he had something to prove. Or something to make up for?

  Oh God, what had he done? Her blood ran cold as her mind pictured him with someone else. She pulled away. ‘I need to know what happened.’

  His chest rose and fell in quick succession and she waited for what felt like forever, dreading what he would say. Would he lie to her, make her feel like everything was fine, or would he tell her something she didn’t want to hear?

  Her stomach felt heavy as his silence stretched on. Alicia closed the door and locked it, though he might not be staying for long if he was going to admit what she dreaded the most.

  He walked away from her and into the sitting room but she didn’t follow. Her legs felt weak, just like her heart. Hadn’t she known they were just working out the chemistry until he left for the French Opens? She did, and she believed it, so she had no idea why her heart stuttered like it was breaking.

  ‘I fucked up,’ he said.

  Alicia squeezed her eyes shut to stop them from watering. This was ridiculous. She shouldn’t be so upset, not when they’d never made any promises to each other. She had her rules, but she’d broken the first.

  She told herself the reason her heart had splintered was because whatever he did would drag her into a shameful media frenzy that would bring scandal to her family. She almost believed it too.

  ‘Don’t freak out on me,’ he said.

  If anyone was freaking out it was him. He was raking his hands through his hair, taking out the kink left by his cap.

  Alicia decided she had to treat the situation with professional calm – it was either that or she was going to freak out and then who knew? She made her way to the living room, grateful her legs were steady and didn’t give away her anxiety.

  She sat down on the end of the sofa and gave him the choice. He took the chair, which was when she knew this was going to be bad – he’d never allowed much space between them before.

  ‘Do you want a coffee?’ she asked, but what she really wanted to do was pick up the charity file and beat him over the head with it until he told her what was happening.

  Sebastian frowned at her. ‘Don’t use that prim voice. We’re not strangers.’

  Right now it felt like they were, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. Not if she wanted honesty. ‘I’m sorry. What happened?’

  He scrubbed a hand down his face. ‘I went to see Mai.’

  Relief crashed through her. She’d thought he’d been with someone else, to hear he hadn’t made her want to laugh. But then he was going crazy on the chair and she knew there was more to this. So she waited.

  Sebastian studied her expression for a long moment. ‘When I read the latest article I was pissed off at her. But then I read it back and saw more than her trashing me. I’d hurt her, really hurt her, and I thought it was long past time I apologised.’

  Alicia blinked, but was too shocked to say anything. She’d known when she started this he wasn’t happy with the part of her plan to show the world he’d made a mistake. Let alone his ex.

  ‘We met in Hyde Park, next to the boating place. I told her the truth – that I’d never cheated on her and I think she believed me.’

  ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘Maybe now she’ll stop …’

  But Sebastian was shaking his head.

  ‘She kissed me.’

  The words had her heart racing again, worse than before. Panic and pain interlaced until her lungs cramped with the effort it took to breathe. She knew what was coming next – it was written all over his expression.

  ‘Mai called the press.’

  He nodded.

  Alicia bit her tongue against other questions – more pressing ones. Did he kiss her back? Was there still attraction there beneath the bitterness? But his publicist didn’t need to know those things.

  She tried to think through the pain, the hurt, and focus on the most important part – his reputation as a renowned cheat. And stopping this article from going to print and her father finding out.

  She raked in the cupboard beside the sofa and pulled out the phone book, then flicked through the pages. If she was right, a magazine like Taylor Made would sign Mai exclusively for a feature, maybe every other story for a while yet. It was her last hope.

  ‘Is Mai’s number registered?’

  ‘I think so. She’d want the press to be able to get in touch. Alicia –’

  ‘One issue at a time, Sebastian.’ She found the number and dialled it from her cell, blocking the number.

  ‘What are you going to do?’ he asked, but she didn’t answer.

  A second later, Mai picked up. Alicia put on her best Cockney accent and said she was a freelancer for a gossip mag.

  ‘You want me to tell you more about the split?’ Mai said.

  Alicia tsked. ‘That’s old news, sweets. I was thinking about doing a piece on how your life has improved when his is going down the lav.’

  He made a face at her and she couldn’t help but smile, despite the fact she had a trillion questions for him about that kiss.

  ‘Oh, uh. Yes, that sounds good. But does it have to be now?’ Mai asked.

  ‘Now’s the only chance. We need to fill a spot and I’ve managed to squeeze you into the next issue.’ Alicia crossed her fingers and earned a puzzled look from him.

  ‘Oh … I’m sorry, but I’ve given someone else the exclusives for the next month.’

  She closed her eyes, thankful at least that she knew who would be splashing the kiss all over their pages, but getting them to reconsider printing the pictures would be the hard part.

  ‘Maybe another time.’ Alicia closed her cell. ‘Taylor Made have all the exclusives for the next month. That’s probably where the … kiss will be printed.’

  Sebastian crossed to the sofa and knelt in front of her. He took her phone, set it down on the table, then grabbed her hands. Looked her right in the eye. ‘I pushed her away. Whatever I felt for Mai is gone. The only reason I went to see her was to apologise – now I wish I hadn’t.’

  She blinked again, but this time it was to stop her eyes from getting all watery.

  ‘You didn’t need to tell me that.’ But she was glad he did.

  ‘I’d say since we’ve seen each other naked that I should.’ She narrowed her eyes and he grinned, but it was short-lived. ‘And you’re my publicist. Bet you’ve never had a client as hellish as me.’

  She wanted to see the grin again, especially now he’d told her the truth – but it was hard to force herself to be light. There was still the potential article coming with God knew what spin Mai had put on it. But she had some time. The next issue of Taylor Made wasn’t out for a fortnight.

  She tried a joke. ‘Before we met I thought working for you would be like trying to shove Hitler’s skeletons into a closet.’

  It
worked, he laughed a little. ‘I don’t have skeletons. Just a scorned ex.’

  ‘Maybe covering up after Hitler would be easier than facing off against what Mai keeps throwing at you.’ Alicia wasn’t kidding this time.

  He tugged her off the sofa, then stood, holding her close. She let him pull her into a kiss that melted her to the core and made her heart pound in a much better way than before. Maybe dinner could wait, and so could dealing with this mess, especially since his hands were sliding beneath her shirt and up her spine. She shivered and he pulled away.

  ‘I was going to get us takeout,’ he said.

  She frowned. ‘That’s what you were thinking about when you kissed me?’

  He laughed. ‘No, but I’m trying to take my mind off dragging you to bed. We should eat first, though. We’ll need the energy.’

  The shivers turned into a heat she couldn’t shake off. ‘Well, we don’t have to wait. I cooked today.’

  His eyes glinted. ‘I’ll thank you properly after.’

  Juliette dialled the number of her first-born daughter, feeling more excited than she had in a long time. Her desk was covered in papers and she had been so busy this week she’d barely touched the liquor the gardener had brought her. It was times like now, when she saw her daughters happy, that her misery was overshadowed completely.

  ‘Mother, I was just going to call. How are you?’ Daria answered.

  Juliette rolled her eyes – a bad habit she’d picked up from her children, but it fit with her daughter’s fib. Daria sounded distant, which meant she was probably heavily into a new range of designs. She barely kept track of time when she started a project.

  ‘I’m wonderful, dear.’ At least, this time she was. She hated having to force out lies. There had been so many since she married Arthur that she’d lost count. ‘Have you made a decision on who you want to cover the wedding?’