The Summer Flings Travel Club Page 20

She turned around, surprised to realise they weren’t just off the bridge but a good twenty feet down the riverbank.

  Zack’s frown was full of concern. ‘It’s like you’ve been running on auto-pilot all day. What’s wrong?’

  What was right? Ciara wasn’t sure if she could keep up the pretence anymore. Wasn’t this supposed to be all about fun? She tried to remember back to Miami when she’d made the decision to ask Zack to be her holiday fling. She was so sure that’s all it would be, just like the others before him she’d get bored after a week or two and be able to walk away with some happy memories.

  More. Fool. Her.

  But he was still waiting for an answer, and she wasn’t sure she had one. One thing she was certain about was that she couldn’t lie to him, not when he looked like he genuinely cared.

  ‘There’s a bench about half a mile along I thought we could watch the sunset. Can we talk there?’ Hopefully by then she’d know what she wanted to say.

  He pressed his lips together, clearly not pleased at her evasion but he nodded and then led the way. Guilt was an awful thing she didn’t care much for – it had lined her stomach like churning acid for the best part of her life. But it wasn’t like she needed the time to think of a lie. She just couldn’t put what she was feeling into words yet.

  Before she knew it they were at the bench and her mind was blank. While Zack unpacked the food and wine in the middle of the bench, panic tightened her chest until it got hard to breathe.

  He glanced over his shoulder then got to pouring the wine. ‘I’d rather you said nothing than lied to me. Let’s just enjoy the night, no pressure, okay?’

  But the pressure didn’t ease and now she had an extra well of guilt to add to the mix. ‘I wasn’t going to lie to you. I just don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words.’

  He handed her a plastic glass full of wine, his expression the perfect poker face. Just like Elle’s. ‘This didn’t turn out like either of us expected, did it?’

  She shook her head. ‘Every time I think about going home I get all miserable.’

  The corner of his mouth tilted up. ‘Snap.’

  ‘Really?’ It was a stupid question considering he’d just told her, but somehow the thought that she wasn’t alone with this gave her comfort. But there was still terror there too.

  He nodded and sat at the far side of the bench, looking out over the river Arno. ‘There’s only so long you can go on lying to yourself before it starts to eat you up inside.’

  ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’ She sat at the other side of the food, but didn’t take her eyes off him.

  ‘You asked if I had ever been in love. I never thought I was. I wanted to be. So I told myself I really was. It ended up hurting us both.’

  She knew he meant Vanessa, the woman Gem said asked him to marry her.

  ‘You think I’m lying to myself?’ she asked.

  He turned to her with a smile that looked more sad than happy. ‘I think we both were when we thought it would be easy to walk away from each other with no regrets.’

  If regrets were all he had at the end of this, he’d be lucky. She was sure lots of pain was in her immediate future and wasn’t looking forward to it one bit. Picking up a sandwich so she had something else to focus on was the only way she could hide her feelings from him. Though she suspected he already knew.

  ‘The question is, where do we go from here?’ he asked.

  There really only was two options.

  ‘We can enjoy the rest of Italy and deal with what happens after, or I guess we’ll have to say goodbye now.’ A sharp pain seemed to filter through her heart when she thought the latter could actually happen. He could get up right now and walk away from her forever.

  ‘You’re very black and white, Ireland. Where’s the colour, or even the grey?’

  She shrugged. ‘It’s the way my life is, it’s either one way or the other. It’s always been like that.’

  ‘Life’s pointless without colour. Look over there,’ he said, pointing to the edge of the city where the sun was setting for the night. ‘It’s never just night or day. There isn’t just bright blue skies then black. Right now there’s a full spectrum of oranges, blues and even a little pink.’

  She could see what he meant and the sight of the sun setting over the prettiest city she’d ever seen took her breath away. Or maybe that was what Zack was trying to do, talk her around to want more than what they could have. What he didn’t know was that she did want it, more than anything.

  But never, ever at the risk of breaking him the way her ma broke her da.

  The reminder of who she could be was exactly what she needed to focus on what this was really about. Now she just had to tweak her plans a tiny bit to make sure things between them didn’t fall back into dangerous waters.

  ***

  ‘Elle Muir if you don’t get out of bed right now I’m going to throw every pair of shoes you own out of the window!’

  The half-empty threat worked like a charm. Elle sat up, rubbing her eyes and grumbling, ‘When did you get so dramatic?’

  Gem, who was the first target of Ciara’s wake-up call, shuffled into the room behind her. ‘I blame you since you’re the bossy one by nature. You’ve created a monster.’

  Ignoring the jibe, Ciara walked to the window and pulled the heavy curtains apart until sunlight streamed in through the glass. ‘We’ve got plans today so we need to get moving.’

  ‘We’re shopping today,’ Elle protested. ‘Marco and Luca cut our trip short yesterday to whisk us away to lunch.’

  ‘There’s two days left for shopping. I need you with me today and if you try to wiggle out of it, I still have seven more threats to change your mind.’ Part one of her new plan was to minimise alone time with Zack and today she had the perfect way to do it.

  But she couldn’t tell her friends until they got there, otherwise they’d climb back into bed and really, she only had one more threat and there was no way she’d follow through.

  ‘How come Zack’s getting out of it?’ Elle asked.

  Ciara rolled her eyes. ‘He’s not, we’re all going. You both have half an hour before we leave so get to it!’

  Zack had insisted on driving which cut the cost considerably and since she’d blown a chunk of her budget on this day trip, she had to be grateful.

  He hadn’t even moaned when she said she wanted her friends to come with them, which just made it all that harder to stay detached from her feelings, but she was determined to try.

  It did take longer than half an hour for her friends to appear in the kitchen demanding coffee before they went anywhere. By the time they’d hit the road to Montalcino it was closer to lunchtime than she’d planned. She just hoped that having her friends there as buffers for anything too deep would work. No doubt Elle would take one look at what she had planned and phone a taxi to take her back to Florence.

  So she refused to tell her friends where they were going and when they got to the vineyard, they perked up. Still, it wasn’t just wine tasting on the menu and that was the news she was worried about sharing.

  ‘If you’d told us we were going to spend the day getting sloshed at a vineyard we’d have gotten a move on sooner,’ Gem said.

  ‘We’re not here to get sloshed.’ Although tasting first might be a better way to loosen her friends up.

  ‘We could book a hotel close by and make a day of it,’ Zack suggested.

  Even though she was the one trying to make the fling more about fun than seriousness, the fact that he seemed to be giving up on watching what he spent made her sad. Was it his way of saying he’d made his choice?

  ‘We have dates tomorrow so would have to get back to Florence before noon,’ Elle said.

  ‘Easily done. Gem, Ciara, are you in?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course,’ Gem said.

  Ciara nodded, less enthusiastic about his suggestion as they pulled up in front of a massive palazzo in the middle of miles and miles of grapevines. She
couldn’t blame them for assuming she’d be happy with staying since she’d recommended they take a change of clothes but when she’d told them that it wasn’t so they could spend the night and Zack knew it.

  ‘Why don’t you three go and meet the tour guide while I sort out a hotel?’ he said, pulling his phone from his pocket.

  There didn’t seem to be a point to grumbling about the cost or much else anymore so she did as he suggested, leading the way into the house with Elle and Gem trailing behind.

  ***

  Ciara suggested discretely to the tour guide that they do a tasting first. They crossed the land to where the red was stored after Zack had caught up. He didn’t take her hand, but that might have been because she probably looked like she was in full-on strop mode. Or maybe he just didn’t want to anymore. Not something she could blame him for since she was the one choosing to live her life without colour.

  But nothing was safer than black and white.

  After being instructed on how to drink the mouthfuls of wine to fully appreciate the flavours, they were given glasses and glasses of the stuff. Ciara couldn’t discern any particular tastes and ended up just necking a few. Before she knew it her head was fuzzy and her mood had improved considerably.

  It really was some top quality alcohol, whether she could describe the flavours or not.

  She grabbed another with the goal of getting it down as fast as she could but Elle snatched the glass away from her.

  ‘Slow down, Ciara. I don’t want to have to clean your sick off the floor later,’ Elle said.

  ‘I’m never sick when I drink wine,’ she protested, going for the glass again.

  Gem handed her a glass of water. ‘This is to clean your pallet – or sober you up a bit. We’ve still got the white to try, and then the rose.’

  ‘Sober’s no fun,’ she said, ignoring the cup of water and going for another wine glass. They both frowned but didn’t try to stop her this time and before she knew it she’d necked the sample.

  ‘I liked that one. Is there more of that one, mister?’ She pointed to the glasses and the tour host went for a fresh bottle. He was a lovely man.

  ‘Come walk with me, Ciara,’ Zack said, prying the empty glass from her hand.

  ‘I’m waiting for wine,’ she said, not even slurring her words. What was their problem?

  He grinned and it stole her breath. ‘It’ll be here when we get back. Two minutes, I promise.’

  He did look earnest with his pretty dark eyes all wide and sincere. She took his offered hand and walked with him until they were surrounded by grapevines on every side. But Zack was all she could focus on and he had that look again – the one that said he had something to say he knew she wouldn’t want to hear.

  ‘You wanted to talk?’ she asked, wanting it over with so she could get back to drowning the feelings inside.

  ‘I want a lot of things. Right now, more than anything, I want to go back there and drink every bottle there is just to stop wanting everything else.’

  Why did people always speak in riddles around her? ‘Why?’

  He shrugged. ‘Probably the same reason you do.’

  Doubtful. All she wanted to do was to revel in the giddy wine glow and not worry about anything else. ‘Why did you book a hotel?’

  ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time. Could you face another two hour drive to get back to Florence? I’d rather stay here, get a good night’s sleep and go back tomorrow.’

  He had a point. Even with the aircon in the car the heat had been uncomfortable. And this way he got the full experience of the day trip too. ‘You’re right.’

  And she was being selfish. She hugged her shoulders.

  He tilted her chin up until she was lost in his intense gaze.

  ‘I’d rather you didn’t pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you don’t want to talk about it to me your friends are here. I can keep myself busy for a few hours if you need time with them.’

  She didn’t deserve him. Even for a fling. ‘I couldn’t do that to you.’

  He smiled again and it was beautiful. He was beautiful. Maybe she did need to slow down on the wine…

  ‘I’ve brought my sketch pads and have a few ideas I’d like to get drafted before I forget, so it’s not a problem. Really.’

  Emotions made her throat feel tight and she couldn’t think of a way to thank him. Instead she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she was feeling until they were both gasping and his hands were wandering.

  Too soon, he broke away. ‘Plus I’m not looking forward to Elle’s bitching when you break the news about the other activity on the agenda.’

  She wasn’t either. She’d hoped Zack would be there to act as a buffer. ‘I’m sure after a few more glasses of wine she’ll be okay.’

  Thing was, she wasn’t sure and by the raised brows, neither was he.

  Chapter Twenty

  ‘You have got to be kidding?’ Elle said, leaving her mouth hang open.

  Ciara bit her lip to hold in the giggle at Elle’s expression. It was like she’d never seen a barrel full of grapes before.

  ‘This is amazing, Ciara! How did you manage to pull this off?’ Gem asked.

  At least one of her friends looked excited to be here.

  ‘Come on, it’s supposed to be fun,’ she said, removing her flip flops like they’d been instructed and scrubbing her feet with the water provided.

  Gem took the wash basin next to her and scrubbed her feet with gusto. Before they knew it Gem climbed over the edge of the barrel and jumped onto the grapes. The juice being popped out under her weight made a horrible squishing sound and red stains splatted her sundress, but Gem was grinning so wide she didn’t seem to care.

  ‘No flippin’ way am I getting in there,’ Elle said, edging back.

  ‘Wuss,’ Ciara said, pulling herself over the barrel to join Gem.

  The sensation of the grapes bursting beneath her feet and between her toes was icky, in a really, really fun way like when she was little and thought it was a great idea to go down by the river back home and paddle in the muddy bank.

  Elle scowled at them. ‘I. Am. Not. A. Wuss. If you were wearing Gucci you wouldn’t be in there either.’

  Gem twirled, stomping the grapes as she went. ‘This baby’s Gucci and it doesn’t seem to mind. Clothes are made to be lived in, Elle.’

  Ciara tried a little stomping, slipped on the juices and fell into the side of the barrel giggling all the way. ‘Come on, Elle. It’s fun.’

  ‘You and I have very different perspectives on that word.’ Elle folded her arms, clearly not willing to budge.

  ‘Fine, don’t say you didn’t ask for it!’ Gem crouched down, picked up a handful of squished red grapes and then lobbed them at Elle.

  Their friend tried to move but wasn’t quick enough and they splatted the bottom of her purple dress leaving an ugly dark stain.

  Gem grinned. ‘There, now you don’t have the excuse of ruining Gucci.’

  ‘That was out of order!’ Elle said, her voice rising an octave or two.

  ‘It’s not like you’ll ever wear it again. Come on, this is fun.’

  And Gem was right on both parts. Elle did treat clothes like paper napkins, throwing them out after one use.

  ‘Please, Elle. I know you’ll love it!’ Ciara added big, puppy dog eyes to her plea.

  ‘Fine if it will shut you both up.’ Elle got with the feet scrubbing and she shared a victory grin with Gem. ‘Where’s Zack anyway. Why isn’t he getting forced to do this?’

  ‘He said he was giving us girl time,’ she lied. Well it wasn’t quite a lie, just not the whole truth.

  Elle climbed in, wrinkling her nose as her feet touched the grapes. ‘More like he planned a lucky escape. Ewww.’

  Gem upped the stomping until Elle shot her a death glare. Ciara couldn’t hold back the giggle. ‘Let’s get wine making!’

  It was hard not to find Elle’s expression funny as she gingerly lo
wered foot after foot into the barrel, probably avoiding all the lumpy bits on purpose. Once the fruit was mostly gunk, they slowed down a bit and focused on the areas still needing to be squished.

  That’s when Gem decided to get perceptive. ‘I’ll bet Zack not being here has something to do with the way you guzzled that wine earlier.’

  ‘What was that about?’ Elle asked, shifting to sit on the edge of the barrel, then scowling at the gunk on her feet.

  She really did need girl time but this talking stuff was getting harder, especially when it came to him. ‘The thought of leaving soon is depressing me. I’ll never get to see you both a fraction as much.’

  ‘We’ll only be an hour away on the plane,’ Gem said, hugging her round her waist. ‘And we’ll talk all the time, I promise.’

  Her eyes got all blurry as she hugged Gem back. But when she saw the annoyance on Elle’s face, shock stopped them in their tracks.

  ‘And Zack?’ her friend asked.

  ‘Has he said what he wants to do yet?’ Gem threw in.

  Ciara shook her head slowly. ‘I’ll miss him, too. And I don’t know if he’ll follow his dream or stay working for the company. We haven’t talked about it since Ibiza.’

  Elle didn’t look mollified. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

  Ciara had a feeling she knew what Elle meant and an argument about why she should try to make things work was not what she had in mind when Zack suggested she speak to them. ‘Nothing’s changed for either of us. Can we drop it please?’

  ‘Sometimes you can be so stupid it’s a wonder you got into Oxford at all,’ Elle said, then sighed. ‘But you’re wrong. Everything’s changed. That’s the last I’m saying about it.’

  Ciara nodded, but it was more of an acknowledgement than agreement. ‘I think we’re done with the grape squishing.’

  ‘Thank God.’ Elle jumped out of the barrel and headed straight to the washbasins. ‘Remind me never to believe you when you say you have a fun day planned.’

  ‘I thought it was fun, and we’ve got more wine to taste later,’ Gem said.

  Ciara had a feeling she was going to need more. Lots more.

  ***

  They went back to the hotel to change for the evening and send their clothes to be laundered so they had something to wear home tomorrow. She found Zack in their room on the bed, scribbling super-fast across his sketch book. There were rulers and other weird shaped measuring devices on the bed next to him and he was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn’t notice she was there until she slid onto the mattress beside him.