Scandal (Tainted #1) Page 21

‘Your family are crazy.’ He shook his head. ‘It must have been like living with emotionless humanoids.’

  She forced out a laugh. ‘You’re not far wrong.’

  But she didn’t want to talk more about her family, or worry about the time when they were over for good. Instead, she scooted closer so she could kiss him. How he pulled her into his arms made her feel cherished and the way she fit against him was easy and right, heating her all over and making her tingle. As Sebastian slid his hands up her spine, taking her shirt with them, she thought this was exactly how relationships were supposed to be.

  Warm, exciting, and fuelled by passion.

  Dinner was stuffy, refined, and over the top. The brandy shared with Mr Simpson before hadn’t been much better. The conversation painted a colourful picture of why Alicia had been so worried to have him there. As far as the old earl was concerned, Sebastian wasn’t a suitable addition to his precious family.

  Alicia’s sister arrived, and the greeting was less formal. Daria hugged her and had even thrown a smirk his way with a wink that reassured him the Simpsons weren’t all soulless creatures.

  Still, the respectable distance between the happy couple made him wonder if Alicia’s sister had stuck with her mother’s advice. He doubted the guy would be scaling a wall on questionable ladders to have some time with his girl – like Sebastian was doing now.

  Alicia opened her bedroom window and he climbed in, praying the rickety wooden steps would stay in place or he’d be forced to go back via the hall and risk getting busted by the nosy butler.

  ‘I was about to send out a search party,’ she teased.

  He was about to quip back but her room caught him off-guard. It was all pinks and silvers with an antique dressing table, mirror, and those fancy things he’d expect the queen to have. Her bed was a mountain of pillows and quilts, looking like something fresh out of a fairy tale. Not that different from her smaller, less fussy bed at her flat.

  ‘This is enough to emasculate any man,’ he muttered as he looked around.

  ‘I’m sure you’re more than masculine enough to deal with it.’ In one swift move, she pulled the black dinner dress over her head, revealing lacy red underwear that left nothing to his imagination.

  Instantly, his focus was glued on her, the girlie room forgotten. He also remembered what he’d brought with him, though after last night he wasn’t sure it was a good move to bring it here. Still, if Alicia was serious about this new outlook of hers, she’d enjoy it. He knew he would.

  ‘Tonight, I’m in charge,’ he said, raking his gaze over her bare curves. ‘Strip.’

  Her eyes flared and her skin took on a pink glow, a sure sign she liked where this was going. Slowly, she unclipped her bra and let it slide off her arms. A flare of heat arrowed south and his hands itched to touch her, but he couldn’t yet.

  She hooked her thumbs under the material at her sides, then wiggled her hips as she pushed, letting her knickers fall to the floor. Her arms hung limp at her sides and she looked at him, half curious, half nervous for what came next.

  Sebastian stepped closer and it took everything he had to not touch her. Instead, he dug his hands into his pocket, one fisting around the little metal bullet he’d bought. He cleared his throat. ‘Get comfy on the bed, any way you like.’

  She moved backward until her thighs hit the edge. Crawling in reverse, she gave him a mouth-wateringly intimate view. He hardened, his arousal digging painfully into his trousers and his heart beating too fast. Sweat slicked his brow with the effort it took to hold back.

  ‘This is the hottest thing you’ve done and you haven’t even touched me.’

  Her voice was ragged and dripped with the same need he felt. A need he worried would never go away. She’d move on and after tonight, be able to enjoy all the things she’d been too afraid to do before. Back where it all started for her, he’d free her completely from the stuffy, reserved life she’d been brought up to believe she should have. It was the only way he could think to repay her for everything she’d done for him.

  ‘I’m not going to touch you, but you’re going to enjoy it. Then I’ll give you what you really want.’

  Her brows furrowed in confusion as she settled against the jumble of pillows, her blonde hair splayed out around her shoulders, making her look like an angel. ‘I don’t get what you … oh.’ Her eyes widened. ‘Sebastian, I can’t.’

  ‘You can, Alicia. You can do anything you want. This might help.’ He tossed her the vibrator and she caught it, the shock parting her lips a sign this wouldn’t be as easy as he’d hoped. ‘Do you know how hot it will make me?’

  Her gaze dipped down his body and her cheeks flushed. ‘You too. I’m not doing this solo.’

  He grinned, more than on board with that plan. He undid his button, pulled down the zip, and freed himself. ‘You’re on.’

  Alicia twisted the device and the buzz hummed through the room. Her cheeks turned a deep pink, betraying her bravado. As she trailed the little silver bullet over her nipples, he had to clamp down on the pressure building in him and slowed his strokes.

  Then she went south and circled her clit with the vibrator. She moaned, her head falling back and her eyes closing as she worked it around herself. His erection thickened in his hand and he had to let go or he was going to fall over the edge with her like he hadn’t had an orgasm for a week, not a few bloody hours.

  She undiluted on the sheets and her hips jerked as she worked her arm. Cold, irrational jealousy of the device cut through the desire, but that was ridiculous. It was a machine, and she did the same beneath him when she was close. Still, his gut clenched hard as she moaned and her thigh muscles tightened.

  Unable to stick to his own plan, he stripped down, stalked to the bed, and tugged her to the edge by the ankles. Ignoring her gasp, he took the vibrator from her and tossed it across the room, not giving a damn where it landed.

  ‘I thought you said I had to do it before I got what I wanted,’ she protested, but wrapped her legs around his waist anyway.

  ‘I changed my mind. From now on, when I’m around it’s only me who gets to make you come.’ He entered her in one long, slow thrust.

  She clung to his wrists, pulling him down so she could take his mouth. He let her, tangling his fingers through her hair as he made love to her with everything he had, not caring that this time it wasn’t just about the need and desire. This time it was about so much more. Right now, she was his and worse, he was hers.

  A tight hold on her arm was all that kept her legs moving, one in front of the other, until they reached the steps to the clinic. Alicia was numb, inside and out. This was the right thing, her father had told her so. The proper thing.

  Doing this would mean she’d no longer be tainted. A few hours and it would all be over, he’d said.

  Sweat beaded on her brow and she started to shake. A nurse appeared with a smile for her father, but her expression morphed to disdain when she looked at Alicia. Dirty, that’s how she felt. Dirty and alone.

  But she wasn’t, she reminded herself as she hugged the tiny bump at her waist. It was the reason she was there, to say goodbye to her child. The reminder had her breath coming too fast and shallow again. Her throat tightened and her eyes watered, but her heart hammered on, proving she was still alive, still a person.

  ‘I can’t, Father. Please don’t make me!’ The tears poured from her eyes now, never stopping.

  ‘You have to, Alicia. Do you want to be alone forever? A disgrace to your family? Because we’ll all suffer if you don’t do this.’

  Sobs racked through her chest, making it hard to speak. She didn’t want to end up like Jonathan, but when the nurse led them into a room across the way, her feet dragged and she wanted nothing more than to run. ‘Please … no.’

  ‘Alicia, wake up.’

  She was shaken out of the awful dream, still sobbing and clinging to her waist while reality bled away the past.

  ‘No,’ she said, rubbing her empty sto
mach. ‘No.’

  The loss hit her as hard as it did the day she lost her child, and she couldn’t break free from it. Not that she deserved to. She should suffer for what she’d done.

  ‘Jesus, Alicia. Come here.’ He pulled her onto his lap and held her tight.

  She let his warmth seep through her chilled skin, crying into his shoulder like a child and feeling even worse for allowing herself this shred of comfort. She didn’t do anything to deserve it. Suffering was the price she should pay.

  ‘Don’t …’ Her throat was too thick to tell him to leave her, so she tried to pull away.

  He just held her closer, running his hands over her back and through her hair too quickly to be comforting. ‘Tell me what happened. It might help.’

  She shook her head against his chest while more sobs broke free.

  ‘Shhh, you’re OK, you’re safe,’ he whispered, rocking her back and forth for what seemed like hours.

  She wasn’t OK, but the tremors stilled eventually and she managed to breathe. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be.’ He pulled back, wiped the last of her tears away and she saw the concern in his eyes in the moonlight. ‘Nightmare or memory?’

  When she didn’t answer, his gaze dropped to her hands, protecting her empty stomach, and he cursed. ‘There was more, wasn’t there?’

  She nodded, still trapped in the horror of the dream and the fact that now, he’d know what she did.

  ‘He got you pregnant, that boy.’ Sebastian’s voice was soft, but his jaw was clenched like it was an effort to stay calm.

  ‘He didn’t mean to,’ she said, not wanting him to jump to conclusions. ‘When I found out, I was almost sixteen. I thought we’d get married soon anyway – it’s what he promised. By the time I found out, it was too late. My father had discovered our relationship and managed to get his dad a job in Wales. Darrell was into rugby, which was more important than I was, and he saw the opportunity to go to another team, to further his career.’

  He watched her with a frown, probably worried she’d burst into tears again but she’d wasted enough on Darrell. No more.

  ‘You didn’t tell him?’ Sebastian asked.

  ‘I told him. He left anyway.’ That part was harder to say. Her own personal proof that life didn’t have fairy tale endings. Not for her, anyway.

  She felt his hands turn into fists behind her back and his frown morphed to anger. ‘Those bastards.’

  Alicia didn’t speak, she didn’t want to have to tell him what happened then. For Sebastian to look at her like the murderer she was. ‘It’s over now. I don’t care about Darrell anymore.’

  His eyebrows pulled together then his jaw dropped. ‘Please don’t make me – that’s what you said in your dream. Alicia, did someone force you to have an abortion? Your father?’

  ‘It was my choice,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t want to be outlawed like my brother.’

  He tilted her chin and all the traces of anger had gone. Her heart tripped over itself with the compassion she saw in his eyes. The emotions she felt for him seemed reflected in his gaze. How could he walk away after a month when he cared for her like this?

  ‘You were just a child, you shouldn’t have been made to choose. He forced you to do something you didn’t want to.’

  Maybe, but …

  ‘I could have said no. I could have fought harder and I didn’t. I lost my baby because I was too ashamed and broken-hearted to fight.’

  Tears welled in her eyes again and he pulled her closer, kissed her lips softly. ‘You’re strong now, Alicia. Don’t let him make you choose again. He can’t keep controlling you forever.’

  ‘I’m trying.’ She kissed him – the need to revel in his acceptance made it mandatory.

  Sebastian didn’t say anything else, just kissed her back tenderly, like she was someone worthy of being adored. She almost believed it too.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jack woke up with Mai in his arms. She was still sound asleep, probably from the painkillers the doctor had given her to ease the pain. Again, the shitty feeling in his stomach flared until he felt sick with it.

  What the fuck had he done?

  He’d been in a haze of lust, enjoying the afterglow of a great orgasm, and then she’d attacked him. The pain of what were pathetic slaps stung more than they should, and the anger that roared through him had been impossible to stop.

  Even seeing her lying on the floor, her face covered in blood, hadn’t calmed him down. He’d barely heard her apology through the rage, and it was all he could do to walk away before he’d caused serious damage.

  The fact she’d forgiven him had been a miracle. That she wanted to help him get over his ‘addiction’ was unbelievable. How could she even look at him after what he’d done?

  He swept a few stray hairs away from her face and her eyes fluttered open. He’d fallen into her blue depths once. Hard and sure. And now, even though he was horizontal, he had the oddest feeling of vertigo.

  ‘Morning, babe,’ she said, snuggling closer.

  His arms constricted around her automatically, and his head was more messed-up than her face. She brushed a kiss on his jaw, making his eyes sting and his heart swell. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Hurt or not, she was a slut who’d ripped his heart out, burst it with her pointy nails, and flattened it with her new Collins-bought stilettos.

  The plan. He needed to focus on the plan.

  ‘Marry me, Mai. I don’t care about a big, white wedding. All I care about is you.’

  The lie tasted bitter on his tongue – or was that the guilt from hitting her? Conning her shouldn’t have made him feel bad. Hell, she’d done worse to him.

  ‘Really? Now? But what about money, security?’ She rose on her elbow and looked down at him.

  He tried not to wince at the mess he’d made of her face. ‘Do you really care about that stuff? We have a home that’s paid up, I’m almost done with my script, and don’t you have some cash saved. Or is it gone already?’

  Her eyes glazed over, in that way they did when she was overwhelmed. ‘I have some, but it’s hard to save when I have to keep up with fashion.’

  Wasn’t that why he was still stuck there, waiting for a huge pay out that was a long time coming? ‘I don’t give a shit what you wear, and your hair was gorgeous without the fortnightly bleaching. We can do this, we can save. Haven’t you always just wanted a family who loved you? I can give you that.’

  Tears leaked from her eyes, coursing down her battered cheek. ‘I do! Jack, that’s all I want!’

  He couldn’t avoid the kiss, but it didn’t matter. Not when he was a step closer to winning, so he put everything he had into it. Still, he was careful to keep away from her bruises.

  Sliding her hand down his chest, she aimed for his groin but there was nothing going on below his navel. She pulled away when she realised he wasn’t up for anything like that.

  ‘I have an idea,’ Mai said.

  She darted out of the room. When she returned, it was with his laptop. He frowned. ‘What’s that for?’

  ‘Fire it up! Whatever you like. We’ll watch together.’

  His chin dropped as she handed him the laptop, and when he saw her waiting patiently for him to open it he realised she wasn’t joking.

  ‘Mai …’ Shit, he didn’t know what to say.

  ‘I’m going to show you that you don’t need to do this alone, and maybe one day you won’t need it to get aroused around me.’ Her gaze dropped when she said the last bit.

  Telling her he’d be aroused if she’d never left him, never turned into a skinny, vengeance-seeking whore, would only fuck up everything he’d worked so hard for. Instead, he flicked on the computer and went to the site he visited most.

  ‘You can pick,’ he said, passing the thing to her.

  He didn’t know if it was jealousy of someone who looked like she thought she had to be or because it was the film that had been playing when he got busted, but Mai hit play on his fa
vourite video, then proceeded to attend to his dick like the brunette on the screen was. Over and over until he was harder than steel and about ready to come.

  He tugged her away, then returned the favour, all the while watching the actor go to work on the brunette in the same way. It was easier to enjoy it with the visual and the brunette’s moans as he made his way between Mai’s legs.

  But as she writhed against him and moaned his name, something shifted inside him – something that nearly choked him. Climbing up her body, he kissed and lightly nipped her skin like she used to love, until she was begging him to take her and he couldn’t speed it up to get it over with. Hell, he couldn’t even concentrate on the pretty brunette.

  When he slid into Mai slowly, savouring the feeling and the way her eyes glossed over with pleasure, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. So he rocked into her in the same slow way, trailing kisses down her neck and across her collarbone until all he could hear and feel and touch was Mai.

  When they both fell over the edge together, Jack couldn’t keep his eyes open. As he drifted into sleep again with her in his arms, he knew he’d fucked up and done the one thing he promised himself he’d never do again – fall in love with Mai.

  ‘Jack, that was amazing.’ She snuggled closer. He was too far gone to reply. ‘I have just over seventy thousand. I’ll withdraw it today and you can keep it for us so I don’t spend it. Sleep well, babe.’

  His brain switched back on as she left the bed, but he didn’t dare open his eyes. Seventy fucking grand? That was more than enough to tide him over for a while. Screw love, screw this feeling. He was going to get his revenge.

  Alicia spent the next day at their in-house spa with her sisters, talking travel, shoes, and the upcoming nuptials. Though really, she listened and even then she didn’t hear much. They were being pampered by a team her mother had brought in for the day, but her mind kept drifting to the night before.

  Daria must have noticed, because she called her on it. ‘Sis, you have it bad.’

  Sylvia pulled cucumber slices from her eyes. ‘The tennis player? I bet he packs stamina.’