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Flirting in Florence Page 3
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‘No flippin’ way am I getting in there,’ Elle said, edging back.
‘Wuss,’ Ciara said, pulling herself over the barrel to join Gem.
The sensation of the grapes bursting beneath her feet and between her toes was icky, in a really, really fun way like when she was little and thought it was a great idea to go down by the river back home and paddle in the muddy bank.
Elle scowled at them. ‘I. Am. Not. A. Wuss. If you were wearing Gucci you wouldn’t be in there either.’
Gem twirled, stomping the grapes as she went. ‘This baby’s Gucci and it doesn’t seem to mind. Clothes are made to be lived in, Elle.’
Ciara tried a little stomping, slipped on the juices and fell into the side of the barrel giggling all the way. ‘Come on, Elle. It’s fun.’
‘You and I have very different perspectives on that word.’ Elle folded her arms, clearly not willing to budge.
‘Fine, don’t say you didn’t ask for it!’ Gem crouched down, picked up a handful of squished red grapes and then lobbed them at Elle.
Their friend tried to move but wasn’t quick enough and they splatted the bottom of her purple dress leaving an ugly dark stain.
Gem grinned. ‘There, now you don’t have the excuse of ruining Gucci.’
‘That was out of order!’ Elle said, her voice rising an octave or two.
‘It’s not like you’ll ever wear it again. Come on, this is fun.’
And Gem was right on both parts. Elle did treat clothes like paper napkins, throwing them out after one use.
‘Please, Elle. I know you’ll love it!’ Ciara added big, puppy dog eyes to her plea.
‘Fine if it will shut you both up.’ Elle got with the feet scrubbing and she shared a victory grin with Gem. ‘Where’s Zack anyway. Why isn’t he getting forced to do this?’
‘He said he was giving us girl time,’ she lied. Well it wasn’t quite a lie, just not the whole truth.
Elle climbed in, wrinkling her nose as her feet touched the grapes. ‘More like he planned a lucky escape. Ewww.’
Gem upped the stomping until Elle shot her a death glare. Ciara couldn’t hold back the giggle. ‘Let’s get wine making!’
It was hard not to find Elle’s expression funny as she gingerly lowered foot after foot into the barrel, probably avoiding all the lumpy bits on purpose. Once the fruit was mostly gunk, they slowed down a bit and focused on the areas still needing to be squished.
That’s when Gem decided to get perceptive. ‘I’ll bet Zack not being here has something to do with the way you guzzled that wine earlier.’
‘What was that about?’ Elle asked, shifting to sit on the edge of the barrel, then scowling at the gunk on her feet.
She really did need girl time but this talking stuff was getting harder, especially when it came to him. ‘The thought of leaving soon is depressing me. I’ll never get to see you both a fraction as much.’
‘We’ll only be an hour away on the plane,’ Gem said, hugging her round her waist. ‘And we’ll talk all the time, I promise.’
Her eyes got all blurry as she hugged Gem back. But when she saw the annoyance on Elle’s face, shock stopped them in their tracks.
‘And Zack?’ her friend asked.
‘Has he said what he wants to do yet?’ Gem threw in.
Ciara shook her head slowly. ‘I’ll miss him, too. And I don’t know if he’ll follow his dream or stay working for the company. We haven’t talked about it since Ibiza.’
Elle didn’t look mollified. ‘That’s not what I meant.’
Ciara had a feeling she knew what Elle meant and an argument about why she should try to make things work was not what she had in mind when Zack suggested she speak to them. ‘Nothing’s changed for either of us. Can we drop it please?’
‘Sometimes you can be so stupid it’s a wonder you got into Oxford at all,’ Elle said, then sighed. ‘But you’re wrong. Everything’s changed. That’s the last I’m saying about it.’
Ciara nodded, but it was more of an acknowledgement than agreement. ‘I think we’re done with the grape squishing.’
‘Thank God.’ Elle jumped out of the barrel and headed straight to the washbasins. ‘Remind me never to believe you when you say you have a fun day planned.’
‘I thought it was fun, and we’ve got more wine to taste later,’ Gem said.
Ciara had a feeling she was going to need more. Lots more.
***
They went back to the hotel to change for the evening and send their clothes to be laundered so they had something to wear home tomorrow. She found Zack in their room on the bed, scribbling super-fast across his sketch book. There were rulers and other weird shaped measuring devices on the bed next to him and he was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn’t notice she was there until she slid onto the mattress beside him.
‘Wow, that’s incredible,’ she said, gaping at the sketch of a building he’d drawn.
It looked like an old block of flats that had been given a facelift and she recognised something about the shape of them, like she’d seen it somewhere before. He distracted her from delving into her memory.
‘Did you all have fun?’
‘All bar Elle.’ She grinned remembering her friend’s discomfort. ‘She wasn’t so keen on squishing fruit with her feet.’
‘I can imagine. I’d have loved to see her face.’ He closed the pad and put it on the cabinet next to the bed.
‘It was a picture. What are you working on?’
He shrugged. ‘Nothing much. Just a potential project.’
‘For your company?’
He shook his head.
‘Zack that’s amazing! And it’s really, really good. How can they not want your drawings?’ She threw her arms around him, completely forgetting her dress was covered in grape juice.
‘There’s more to it than that. The closing date’s coming up and I’m not the only one interested.’
He didn’t meet her eyes when he spoke and she could sense his discomfort in his rigid pose. The where’s, how’s and when’s would have to wait until he was ready to talk to her, but she could just burst with excitement for him.
And happiness. He was going to make his dream come true after all!
‘I’ll keep everything crossed for you,’ she said, climbing onto his lap. ‘Now how about some celebrating?’
‘Don’t you normally wait until you have something worth celebrating?’ he asked, but it didn’t stop him from sliding his hands beneath her dress to squeeze her bum.
‘This is worth it! We’ll celebrate the possibility.’ Before he could say anything else, she threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed him.
This was always so easy, almost natural, but her reaction was overpowering each time their lips met and now was no different.
He slid his hands up to expertly unhook her bra and that’s all it took for her patience to expire. She broke the kiss, ripping at his shirt buttons until they popped free and she could get her hands on all that gorgeously smooth, ripped muscle.
Zack didn’t make a comment about her impatience, even though he generally did. She guessed he was just as desperate for this as she was, like it had been much, much longer than a day since she’d joined with him.
Soon they were naked and she was ready for him, bugger wasting time with foreplay – no matter how amazing it was with him.
He lay her back so her head was close to the bottom of the bed and he followed her down so it was just them, skin on skin with nothing in the way. Just how she liked it.
Tilting her hips was the only invitation he needed until he slid home. Ciara revelled in the stretch of her muscles, digging her heels into his backside to bring him in all the way. He stopped moving, pulled her arms above her head and linked fingers with her.
She looked right into his eyes and she could see the emotion burning there. The same emotion burning through her. ‘This really feels like you’re mine, Ciara. It makes me never want to let you go.’
<
br /> She didn’t have a chance to reply or even to think about what he’d said. He took her mouth and started moving in a way that wiped her mind clean of everything else except her and him, joined together and hurtling towards something incredible.
Chapter Twenty-One
After a lovely dinner and more wine tasting, Ciara was too shattered to think, never mind find a way to broach a conversation about what he meant earlier. Zack must have been too because he let her fall asleep in his arms that night without an attempt at seduction or a hint that he wanted to talk.
By the time they’d got back to Florence and Elle got all the bitching about losing precious shopping time out of her system, Ciara decided a long, long bubble bath might help her put her thoughts together.
It only served to make her even more confused and finding Zack’s note saying he’d just nipped out for a bit meant she was left in the big house by herself. She tried flipping on the TV but the subtitles started to annoy her. Next she tried organising her case so she only had to pack whatever she wore from now until tomorrow night could be crammed in and she’d be ready to go.
It didn’t take as long as she hoped.
Next she tried for a little sunbathing in the garden which seemed like a good idea since her tan from Greece was fading fast, but even then her mind churned and uneasiness pulsed through her muscles, making her jittery.
More proof, like she needed it, that there was no hope for her to keep Zack at all.
Or a job – if she could get one.
And that would mean no kids, no family of her own.
So much for figuring things out. More like drive herself insane.
Her phone chimed with a text from Elle saying they were staying out tonight with Marco and Luca.
Brilliant. Now she had no buffer against Zack.
Giving up sunbathing, she headed for the kitchen in search of food. Since Zack was with them the fridge was full of the good things in life with barely a lettuce leaf to be found. She fried some tomatoes and scrambled a few eggs with Worcester sauce and as she sat down at the table to eat her comfort food, his sketch pads caught her eye.
Ciara went for the smaller one since she’d never had a peek in it yet and almost choked on a mouthful of eggs when she opened it.
It was a sketch of her, asleep the night she stayed in LA. At least she assumed it was her. The cheekbones looked softer in the drawing and the shadows across her face made the woman look more beautiful than she could be. Then there was her hair, which was smooth and perfect, unlike her scary, strewn-across-the-pillow look.
Shoving the plate aside she brought the pad closer and flipped to the next page.
This one was definitely from Miami. She was lying on the sofa, completely naked – although her lady bits were tactfully shaded out. It wasn’t creepy like she’d expected something like this would be. He’d focused on her face, managing to catch an expression that could only be described as wonder.
A lump formed in her throat as she remembered that feeling so well. And it hadn’t anything to do with what he could do with a tub of mint choc chip and his tongue. It had been the man beneath the talent that had fascinated her.
She could see an outline of something else through the paper but her eyes were watering now and she couldn’t face anymore, so shut the pad.
All that worrying in Paris that he didn’t want her and after, in Santorini when she worried he wouldn’t come with her for the rest of the trip. She shook her head.
She’d been so self-absorbed she hadn’t noticed Zack was falling for her all along, her own angst about how she felt overshadowing everything. She’d gone and done what she swore she never would and hurt someone she cared about.
Or at least she’d have to now.
A tear slid down her cheek and landed on the paper, but she wiped the rest away determined to pull it together. She had to stop this now, bugger how miserable she’d be.
The time for being selfish was over. She just hoped it wasn’t too late for him.
***
Zack returned a little while later with a box of pizza and a few bags. She ignored the delicious smell of grilled cheese and herbs – her appetite had long since vanished.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone so long so I come bearing pizza. Are the girls still out?’ he asked, putting the box and bags down on the kitchen table.
‘They have dates.’
He kissed her before she could stop him. It was brief and sweet, but also sad considering it would be her last.
‘Good, then we have the house to ourselves.’ His grin almost sent her over the edge into full blown misery.
‘Zack, we need to talk.’
He took the opposite chair, opened the pizza box and removed a slice. ‘I’m listening.’
She could almost believe he didn’t know what this was about if it wasn’t for the mechanical way he chewed and the forced air of nonchalance.
The lump in her throat got so big it was hard to breathe, never mind speak but she had to force the words out. ‘It feels like we’re falling into a relationship and I never meant for that to happen. We can’t happen. Not for the long haul.’
He placed the slice of pizza back in the box and folded his arms. ‘If you didn’t want it to go this far, why didn’t you pull back sooner?’
Her mouth opened and closed but the only sound was her breath hitching in her throat.
He nodded, like she’d proved his point. Like he was expecting this conversation at some point. ‘Because like me, deep down, you didn’t want to.’
He couldn’t be more right, but that was the selfish bitch in her. ‘I can’t be with you properly. It would never work and I’ll end up hurting you.’
‘If you’re going to throw away everything we have, I think the least you can do is explain why you think that.’
He seemed too calm and collected for a conversation that must be killing him. Either he believed she’d come round somehow or would keep trying to change her mind. Maybe if he knew the real reason she could never risk a relationship, he’d stop trying.
‘Okay, I’ll explain. Do we have any wine left from yesterday?’ She didn’t even care if it was wine or absinth, the stronger the better.
Zack shook his head. ‘We do this just me and you with clear heads.’
Dammit. She took up playing with her fingers to steel her attention away from legs that wanted to bolt for the nearest exit.
‘My ma left us when I was little. From what I remember, she had a different job every month, got bored so easily that she was always off on mad adventures with her friends, eating out all the time and hitting the pubs or bingo at night. I can’t honestly remember a night where she made us dinner or stayed in to tuck me into bed.’
Her eyes watered again remembering and she had to wipe her eyes.
‘I’m so sorry, Ciara. She sounds like a really shitty mum.’ He reached across for her hand but she pulled them beneath the table.
‘I didn’t tell you so you’d feel sorry for me. What I’m trying to say is I’m exactly like my ma.’
His brows pulled together. ‘You’re not a party girl.’
‘That’s not what I mean. My ma had the same… itch, I suppose, to keep busy. It’s like adrenaline burning through us making us so jittery we just need to go do something. I focused on schoolwork to keep me occupied seeing how upset my da was after she’d had enough of family life and disappeared.’
She scrubbed her eyes again, but they were dry this time. ‘It’s why deep down I’m worried I’ll never be satisfied in a job. I’ve had enough short-term boyfriends and got bored of them to know I can’t guarantee that five, maybe ten years from now I’ll walk away from a family. I’d never want to do that.’
His poker face was back, making her shift on her chair. ‘And to make sure you don’t, you refuse to put yourself in a position where you risk hurting them.’
‘That’s it, exactly.’ She sighed, relieved that he understood.
‘So tell me, at
what point would you say it’s okay to walk away, making sure both parties stay unscathed?’
The edge to the question explained the poker face. He didn’t understand, he was flat out mad and trying to hide it. ‘It’s not a science, Zack. I didn’t mean for things to go this far with us. I got so caught up in everything I didn’t realise how much time had gone by until we were leaving Santorini.’
He ran a hand down his face and unclenched his jaw. ‘Yeah, I know. I’m just trying to work it all out. Have you asked your dad why she left?’
‘He said she had things she needed to do and he didn’t know when she’d be back. I knew she wasn’t ever coming though. She didn’t just go through jobs, but friends too and when I got older I heard rumours about her affairs, though I didn’t really believe them. Still, it wouldn’t surprise me. We weren’t enough to hold her attention.’
Even her da’s seemingly undying love wasn’t enough. Their bedroom was still like a shrine to her. He filled up vases with different flowers every week like she’d done because every week she wanted something new and exciting. Their wedding photo still stood proud on the mantelpiece, like he was just waiting for her to come back to show he still loved her but Ciara knew better.
The only difference between her and her ma was she’d witnessed what it was like to be left by someone, she’d felt the agony of it too. She could never inflict that on anyone. The guilt would eat her up inside.
‘You’re not like her at all,’ he said confidently. ‘Sorry, Ireland, but your mum was self-centred and only cared about herself. You’re her opposite.’
‘The basics are the same. I still get bored easily, just ask Elle and Gem. I drove them mad in Miami before you got there and in Santorini I almost went crazy at having nothing to do. Now university is over I need to find something else to take that itch away so I don’t hurt my da, too.’
‘I’ve never seen you like that.’
He came round the table and took the seat next to her. His aftershave mixed with the fizzle between them acted like a black hole, effortlessly sucking her in but she had to find a way to break free from him. Either that or she’d end up giving in and hurting them both.