Deliver to Dublin...With Care Read online

  His voice was so fierce, so earnest she couldn’t doubt he was telling the truth.

  ‘Then what do you mean by slow?’ Maybe she was crossing into bunny boiler territory but she honestly didn’t understand what he wanted from her.

  ‘Think about it. We practically lived together for eight weeks. I’m not saying it was too much for me – one of the things I miss most is waking up next to you. But most couples do it the other way around. A date or two a week in the beginning, then maybe more.’

  ‘Good point,’ she said half-heartedly. ‘But I never said I wanted to move straight in with you.’

  He laughed. ‘I know. I’m not saying it wouldn’t work if you did, but we’re not on holiday anymore. Both of us are starting new careers and that can be a lot of pressure by itself. I still want to see you, take you out and spend time with you, if that’s what you want.’

  His eyes were so earnest, not like they were when he was holding back something he didn’t want her to know and he was right. A holiday fling had to be different from trying this relationship stuff in the real world, with family, jobs, etc. Plus, after everything that happened, this was way more than she deserved.

  ‘Of course I want that. But first, I owe you a massive apology.’ She squeezed her eyes shut against the sting. ‘I don’t regret being with you ever. Breaking up with you because I was scared was a terrible thing to do.’

  ‘Shh, you don’t have to say that. I read the emails, I get it.’

  He pulled her into his arms and held on tight while she snuggled against his shoulder. His very, very naked shoulder that smelled like musk and felt as smooth as she remembered. She returned the hug, taking the chance to get in a sneaky feel of all those muscles, and though there weren’t as much as before, it still had the same effect on her as always.

  He still had the same effect on her and probably always would.

  He pulled away after a while, but kept a hold of her hands like he couldn’t bear not to touch her either. ‘Do you have dinner plans tonight?’

  She was about to say no when she remembered she had work. ‘Sorry, I have to tutor one of my students and get ready for a course I’m teaching.’

  ‘I should let you go then.’ He sighed. ‘I’m going home this weekend. Are you free Monday night?’

  Sick as it may be, she was happy to see he was disappointed waiting until then to see her. ‘Monday’s my day off and I don’t have plans.’

  His full-blown grin took her breath away. ‘Then let’s spend the day together. I haven’t seen much of the city. You can show me around?’

  She nodded. ‘Can’t wait.’

  ‘Me either.’ He did kiss her then, but before she could get carried away he pulled back. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t resist.’

  ‘You can not resist again and again if you want. I won’t complain.’

  ‘I don’t think it would stop there. I’ve not got that much self-control when it comes to you, Ciara Bree.’

  She pouted as she opened her car door. ‘Spoil sport.’

  Oh how she’d missed that easy grin. ‘I’ll see you Monday.’

  ‘It’s a date.’ She winked before sliding into the car.

  He leaned over and she rolled down the window. ‘Do you still have the same number?’

  She nodded.

  ‘I’ll give you a call, then.’

  Zack jogged over to his car and she had to bite her lip to hold in the excited squeal waiting to burst free. When the road was clear she forced herself to get going and if it wasn’t for the knowledge that she’d get to see him in a few days, she’d never have been able to leave him there.

  But before she got back to the main road, she pulled out her phone and got texting.

  Thank you so much, Elle. I really, really needed that.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Week Seven

  To: Ciara Bree, Elle Muir

  From: Gemma Howard

  Subject: I think it’s me who has a screw loose

  First of all, YES. Geeks do Dublin! Elle drag yourself away from that desk and get your skinny arse on a flight next weekend. We’re having a reunion even if I have to come down there, stick a gun to your head and force you to comply. The Elle Death Glare doesn’t work on me.

  Cia, I’m so happy that this guy is helping you with stuff. I hope it’s still going great? Don’t stop just because you feel better. I’m beginning to think having someone professional to talk to is a good idea for me, but more on that in a bit.

  Are you still at the café? How’s the teaching going? No wait, we can talk about all that next weekend – it’s happening, my flight’s booked so make sure you get it off work!

  So, about my sanity issues. After a particularly intense session of the best-sex-of-my-life, something weird happened to me. It might have been the endorphins, it may have been the way he screwed me like I was a Goddess in need of all the pleasure the body can give, but after we were done, I opened my mouth and the worst set of words in the world came out.

  ‘I think I’m falling in love.’

  He looked so terrified I quickly added ‘with your dick’ but I don’t think he believed it. This was last night, he’s out in another lab today and hasn’t so much as text me. I think I’ve fucked everything up.

  Gem

  xxx

  (P.S I’m no longer using the L word. Ever!)

  ***

  To: Ciara Bree, Gemma Howard

  From: Elle Muir

  Subject: What happened to the world as I know it?

  Gem, I was hyperventilating on your behalf reading that. Nice save, though. I hope the silly twat comes to his senses. He was the one who wanted to date you after all! Do you love him? Honey intense sex can make emotions strong but you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself that loving him is wrong.

  It. Is. Not.

  A bit soon maybe, but not wrong.

  Cia, I don’t know where to begin, but let me try.

  I feel awful. I am one of your best friends and I didn’t notice any of the things you’ve had to find out by yourself. That, without all the other crap, makes me the worst friend ever. If anything it’s me who has the making up to do.

  Florence was a shock. After everything, I expected you to go home and still be with Zack. Even if he stayed to work with us you’d only be an hour away and I knew he wouldn’t dare cheat on you or I’d personally remove his balls and dick with a blunt (and very rusty) knife. Without anaesthetic.

  He’s here now and he told me you went to see him. I cried a little and threatened him a lot – I need to know he’s going to treat you right. I have no doubt he will. Neither Granddad nor I have ever seen him this happy. Be warned though, Papa Muir is already mentally planning your wedding – that’s just him. He gets a little carried away when it comes to me and Zack, which is why I’ve not told him I’m seeing Marco yet!

  I’d love to come to Dublin next weekend, if I’m still welcome?

  I miss you two more than I miss carbs. Lots more.

  Love, Elle

  xxx

  ***

  To: Elle Muir, Gemma Howard

  From: Ciara Bree

  Subject: *Shocked face*

  Gem, please answer your phone. It’s Sunday already and you haven’t replied! We’re so worried about you.

  Elle, thank you for that, but I fecked up too. I’m finally in a place where I know what I want and it’s scarier than a tea party with Mike Myers and Freddy Kruger but that’s not going to hold me back this time.

  But please calm down Papa Muir. Marriage is so not on the cards right now – we’re just seeing how we work in the real world now. Wedding bells are miles off – if ever. It never did anything for my parents.

  I can’t wait to see you both at the weekend. Can we stay in Dublin? I still have my Geeks on Tour tee-shirt. The city people haven’t seen it yet…

  Gem, PLEASE email or text or phone. We need to know you’re alright.

  Love, Cia

  Xxx

 
***

  Week Eight

  Checking her phone every two seconds reminded her of the first few days in Santorini, except it wasn’t Zack’s name she hoped would flash up on her screen.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Zack asked, slowing his steps so he could look down at her.

  ‘I’m worried about Gem. She usually emails from the lab when it’s quiet but we’ve not heard from her in days.’ That wouldn’t be unusual either, since she met Brian her free time was usually filled by him. ‘Of course it would help if my useless brick of a phone would load my inbox. First thing I do at the end of the month is replace this piece of shit.’

  He led her over to a bench, pulled his iPhone from his pocket and handed it to her. ‘It won’t load fast out here but it might be quicker than yours.’

  She smiled. ‘Thank you. And I’m sorry for ruining this date.’

  He kissed her nose – he’d been doing a lot of that this morning. Kissing her sweetly whenever he got the chance. Like she’d ever try to stop him.

  She opened up his browser, surfed to the right page and had her user name and password in before he could say a word. Impressive.

  ‘If you’re here there isn’t much that could ruin it for me. And by now you’ve probably shown me everything there is to see in the city.’

  She looked to him instead of the screen, now dealing with more than worry. ‘Does that mean the date’s over?’

  Zack laughed. ‘I’ve missed your crazy assumptions. We have the rest of the day and night too, if you don’t have any other plans.’

  ‘None,’ she said, smiling again. ‘Let me see if she’s replied.’

  Gem’s name flashing in her inbox was the best sight in the world. She opened the email, tearing up a little as Gem confirmed her absence was because she spent the weekend in Edinburgh with Brian. Apparently he’d been upset because she told him she loved him after sex and he thought it was an in-the-moment thing, when he was starting to feel for her for real.

  ‘I’m guessing it’s good news?’ Zack asked.

  ‘The best,’ she said, wiping her tears away. ‘They’re coming over Friday and wondered if we could make the weekend a triple date thing. I don’t mind going by myself, if you’re busy.’

  She didn’t want to pressure him and Elle had played the fifth wheel in Santorini, surely it wouldn’t kill her.

  ‘Triple?’ he asked, pulling his brows together.

  Oops. Looked like Elle hadn’t mentioned Marco to Zack either. ‘Yeah, Elle’s still seeing that Italian guy who bought the wine in Florence.’

  He shook his head with a smile. ‘She’s more cunning than I thought. Did she tell you our granddad is already picturing me walking you down the aisle? If he knew about Marco he’d probably make us have a double wedding.’

  Ciara’s cheeks burned and her heart took off. She could barely get him into bed. Marriage felt like an unrealistic goal for a few years at least – if she ever decided she wanted to marry him. ‘She mentioned it.’

  ‘Well, I can’t have you being the odd one out.’ He lifted her onto his knee and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled back into his chest, thinking this was exactly where she wanted to be as calm washed over her. ‘Will we stay in a hotel here?’

  As long as it was together, she didn’t care. ‘Sounds perfect. Though you might have to let things speed up a little if you plan to share a room with me. I don’t have that much self-control.’

  ‘I’m not making love to you for the first time in months in a hotel,’ he said, deadly serious.

  At least it felt deadly, to her overexcited imagination. ‘But Zack—’

  He laughed. ‘Why don’t you come over Thursday night after your lesson? I’ll cook us dinner and you can stay the night. We could go meet the crazy duo together.’

  ‘Really?’ She wriggled round so she could see his face. ‘I can stay at yours?’

  ‘Don’t look so surprised, it makes me feel like a shit. If I’m honest when I saw you last week, an insane part of me wanted to drag you into my cottage and bolt the doors so you couldn’t get away again.’

  She grinned so hard her cheeks hurt. ‘It would probably have worried my da, but I don’t think I would’ve protested too much.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have told me that, it could still happen…’

  This time she took the lead, kissing him full on the mouth like she’d wanted to do since what felt like forever. He cupped her face, then slid his hands into her hair to massage her now tingling scalp. The fire in her core made her forget everything, including where she was, and when Zack parted her lips with his she lost control.

  Straddling him, she deepened the kiss until she wished the clothes in their way would spontaneously combust to save her the hassle of having to remove them. But now it was worse, because it was cold and their coats were too thick she couldn’t run her fingers over every inch of him like she needed to.

  Someone cleared their throat and she broke away from him in a daze. They were in the middle of a street now filled with people finishing work for the day. A man walked by them, tutting and shaking his head as he went.

  ‘I thought you were the sensible one?’ she asked. Why hadn’t he stopped them like always?

  One look in his eyes and she had her answer. They were burning for her, with more than lust. Need. Pure and simple. ‘Oh.’

  ‘Thursday.’ He said the word like a curse.

  Now sounded better. But they did have a few things to talk through before they headed for the bedroom. Even though they’d gone over everything that happened pre-break-up (as per her psychiatrist’s suggestion), the future was still uncertain. She didn’t know if he wanted all the things she did – all the things she’d been too scared to want a month ago.

  ‘Thursday,’ she agreed with a sigh.

  ***

  Despite spending two days so desperate she almost made a trip to Anne Summers (more than once!) for something to take the ache away, it wasn’t lust coursing through her as Ciara drove down the little dirt road to Zack’s house.

  It was the jitters again, vibrating through her muscles until she was worried she wouldn’t be able to stop the car. But, like her psychiatrist taught her, she took a few deep breaths and managed to make it without totalling his cottage with her Fiesta.

  Parking up next to his car, she took a few minutes to calm down. They hadn’t talked much about the future but he’d assured her more than once that he was in it for the long haul with her. There were never guarantees they were going to last forever, and she was beginning to accept it, though she was still scared.

  But the main thing, the most important thing, was that she loved him with all her heart and she was sure he felt the same. He’d moved to Ireland to start his business and not because land or property was cheap – it was far from it. He’d come hoping she’d be ready for more with him one day.

  He’d been brave enough to take that leap knowing there was every chance she’d never change her mind.

  Now it was her turn.

  Mentally pulling on her big girl knickers, she got out of the car. Zack was waiting for her at the door, but he came over and helped with her bags.

  ‘Is it just me or does it feel like a week since we were together?’ he asked, cupping her cheek.

  The nerves fizzled away at the words. The way he was looking at her like he was mesmerised helped a bit, too. ‘It’s definitely not just you.’

  He took her hand and led her through his home. Even though he probably planned to knock it down when the bigger house was built, he still kept the place nice. The interior had a charming country feel, but even better were his personal touches. Family photographs lining the mantels – and he opened up with her more, explaining who they all were – a tapestry hanging on a wall that was made by his great-grandmother, and there was even a cabinet for his trophies. All of which he’d won at uni on the football team.

  Dinner wasn’t fancy, just good old steak and chips but she enjoyed it. More so the way they shared chil
dhood stories, both the bad memories and the good. By the time it got late and they’d finished a bottle of wine by the fire, she felt she knew him, body mind and soul – cheesy as it sounded even to herself.

  ‘Does your dad know where you’re staying tonight?’ he asked with a grin.

  Ciara rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not fifteen anymore, but yes he does.’

  She bit her lip before her da’s request slipped out.

  ‘What? Is he not happy with it?’

  ‘It’s not that.’ Her hands started shaking so much she had to put the glass down on the table in case it spilled. ‘He wants to meet you.’

  Sucking in a breath, she waited for the swift ‘no, it’s too soon.’

  But he was back to using the poker face. Only this time was different. His eyes were creased a little around the corners.

  ‘I should hope so. I wouldn’t want our daughter staying with a strange man, whatever age she is,’ he said, then a grin broke free.

  ‘You want to have kids with me?’ she squeaked. ‘I thought you wanted to take things slow?’

  ‘Not right this second, though practising the mechanics of making them wouldn’t be a bad idea…’

  She couldn’t even blink, she was so gobsmacked.

  The amusement disappeared and he got serious. ‘Don’t you think about that stuff, Ciara? The future, us, where we go from here?’

  ‘All the time,’ she whispered.

  ‘So kids aren’t a stretch? One day, I mean. There are so many places I want to explore with you first and, call me selfish, but I’ve just got you back. I want to keep you to myself for a little while longer.’ He linked his fingers through hers and squeezed.

  ‘It’s not a stretch. Not at all. And I know exactly what you mean.’ Maybe dreams did come true, after all.

  ‘I’m glad we’re on the same page,’ he said, pulling her onto his lap.

  She went willingly, threading her fingers through his hair. It was even silkier now he’d let it grow out a bit, and the stubble on his chin was softer against her lips when she kissed his jaw.

  ‘I’ve not had much time for grooming. Sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be. I like it. But honestly, all I can think about is how it will feel when you’re, you know. Down there.’ His grin had heat scoring her cheekbones.