Scandal (Tainted #1) Read online

  Alicia bit her lip and focused on the collar of his open shirt. ‘Mad’ was the understatement of the century, but it wasn’t as bad as before. Back then, he’d made her do something so terrible that some nights she woke up in tears. He’d never shown any compassion either, insisting it was for her own good and one day she’d thank him for it. She was still waiting for that day.

  The worst part wasn’t even that he’d grounded her afterwards for three months until she learned what being respectable meant. She’d been happy to hide away from the world while her heart had time to heal. Her hands trembled against the awful memories and the pain threatened to break her in two all over again.

  Sebastian let go of her wrist and tilted her chin.

  ‘Is he always so uptight?’

  She forced a small smile.

  ‘You could say that.’ Ruthless, brutal, and fiercely protective – of himself – were better ways to describe him.

  ‘Then I’ll try to not make this worse for you.’

  Sebastian grabbed his polo and headed for the staircase, leaving her blinking at his retreating back. She’d never expected him to be understanding or care about anyone else except himself. Could some of what she’d found be made up, exaggerated? Or was he the man Mai claimed he was? Alicia wasn’t sure, but the more time she spent with him, the more she wanted to find out the truth behind the stories.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she squeaked as she opened her front door.

  Sebastian looked like a different man. His hair was still wild, but the suit he wore made him even more delicious-looking. His mother hadn’t been lying at all.

  She hid behind the door, far too aware of her blue sleep shorts and white vest. Oh, not to mention her braless state. Her face burned at the glimpse she’d given him.

  ‘Taking my girlfriend to dinner,’ he said, like that was obvious. ‘Didn’t you mention dinner earlier?’

  ‘I’m not dressed.’ It was the only thing that popped into her head. Did she suggest dinner? She’d been too distracted by her humiliation in the gym to remember the specifics of their conversation.

  ‘Well, you’d better hurry. I made reservations.’

  ‘I need to work on the press release.’ He looked too good in his form-hugging suit. And she’d already spent way too much time with him for one day.

  Sebastian crossed the threshold. ‘That can wait. Come on. You’ve got new clothes to show off.’

  ‘But –’

  He closed the door, exposing her undress to him. His dark gaze dipped down, taking in her bare legs and scorching a flush over her skin. Shut into her small flat with him was stifling, and knocked up the temperature to uncomfortable.

  ‘Quick, before I change my mind and break the first rule already.’

  The threat had her bolting through to her bedroom, heart racing and breath coming too fast. She slammed the door closed, raced to the wardrobe, and pulled out the first dress she could get her hands on. Stripping and dressing in record time, she fumbled through boxes in the bottom of her dresser and grabbed a pair of shoes. At the mirror she snatched her lip gloss, smeared a little on, and then freed her hair from the twist.

  Ruffled, rumpled, and plain would have to do. She needed to get him out of there fast, because after their afternoon together she’d spent way too much time googling him and his ex, wondering what accusations were true. The more she read the more she couldn’t match to the man she’d spent the day with. Not to mention the hold he had on her libido.

  A libido that should have known better than to want him after what had happened the last time she gave into reckless attraction.

  She pushed the mistake and the three months of hell that followed out of her mind. Probably for the hundredth time since she met him.

  After slipping on the heels, she gave her hair a final ruffle then opened the door. He was in the lounge, sitting against her leather sofa with the first draft of the press release in his hands. It was weird seeing him in her personal space, looking relaxed and as if he belonged there.

  But he didn’t belong there. Not ever.

  ‘Ready,’ she said to distract herself.

  His attention flitted to her and his eyes became rich and melting. He took her in, all of her, and Alicia couldn’t remember the last time a date had looked at her without the usual polite reserve. There was nothing polite about the way Collins’ gaze lingered on her breasts, her waist, even her legs.

  He laughed, snapping her out of the fantasy that he found her attractive.

  ‘What?’ Were her nipples out again? She folded her arms just in case.

  ‘Alicia, you look stunning, but I don’t think you’ll want to wear those shoes.’

  He crossed the room as she looked down to see what he meant. There, plain as day on her feet, was a pair of black court shoes she hadn’t worn in forever. If it wasn’t for the great big scuff and talking soles she could have got away with them.

  ‘Need a hand?’ he asked.

  She swallowed back the embarrassment. ‘I’m useless when it comes to this stuff.’ She pulled at her dress. ‘My sisters would have a heart attack if they saw the inside of my wardrobe before today.’

  ‘Come on.’ He took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

  The suffocating feeling got worse, especially when he glanced pointedly at the bed with a wicked grin. So what if it was pink? The sheets were the only thing in her life she was brave enough to douse in colour. The hues in her bedroom were the only thing she got to pick in the manor too – though she guessed that was because her father never went into her room there.

  ‘Where are your shoes?’ he asked.

  Alicia nodded at the foot of her wardrobe and took a seat on the edge of the bed. Sebastian got on his knees and rummaged through the footwear that probably had more place in a pensioners closet.

  ‘I want to look respectable,’ she said, defending her choices even though he hadn’t attacked them. ‘I just can’t figure out how to do that and keep things … elegant.’

  He looked back at her. ‘Your family are that uptight?’

  ‘Among other things. My father is very strict and demands respect. He thinks we should be just like him.’

  Of course she wasn’t, she was the disappointing child – or at least, the ‘other’ disappointing one. She doubted Jonathan would have been shunned if he’d made their father proud. If it hadn’t been for her mother fighting for her, she’d have been thrown out long ago and banned from having contact with the rest of them.

  Exactly like Jonathan.

  She’d wanted to leave once, after the ‘incident’, but she loved her sisters and mother too much. The only option she’d had was to stay, try to win back her father’s approval, and count down the days until she could leave Cumbria for university.

  But having to live up to her father’s expectations had never stopped. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to.

  ‘That sounds rough,’ he said, and she saw the understanding in his eyes.

  Before she could ask what happened that he could understand having a control freak parent, Sebastian reached blindly into the cupboard. He pulled out shoe box after shoe box, in all shapes and sizes, but he only glanced at the contents then set them aside.

  ‘Most kids would’ve rebelled,’ he observed.

  ‘I’m not the rebelling type.’ Not now she knew the consequences.

  The pain it caused her: Jonathan’s exile. It seemed better to be the kind of daughter a father would be proud of than a woman who lived her life without caring about the latest scandal or the Simpson reputation.

  A flash of light blue caught her eye as Sebastian pulled another box out of her closet. Her palms got damp, her heart paused for a beat then took off double time, and scolding blood boiled up her neck.

  She dived for the box but he was faster, pulling it out of her reach. She slammed into his chest, grabbing his shoulders for support, but he’d already clocked what she was desperately trying to hide. This had to be the most em
barrassing moment in the history of the world.

  Sylvia was going to pay.

  ‘Now this is more like it.’

  She grabbed for it again but he moved it further out of reach, shaking the blue vibrator’s box at her like a kid who’d just found the secret cookie stash.

  She groaned. ‘It’s a gag gift from my sister, it’s only –’

  ‘An eight-inch deluxe with five stimulating features,’ he read from the box out loud.

  Alicia covered her burning face in her palms. ‘It’s not like I wanted it!’

  She heard something clattering on the floor, then he tugged her hands away. She didn’t want to look at him, but would the new, improved Alicia cower and hide like this? Determined not to show him how affected she was, she met his gaze.

  ‘Why?’ Sebastian looked more like she’d just told him she didn’t like ice cream than she didn’t want a vibrator.

  ‘Because it’s … it’s …’ She couldn’t hold eye contact as a wave of mortification washed through her. ‘Inappropriate.’

  ‘To who? There’s nothing wrong with having this. It’s kinda hot, actually. Don’t all women have one?’

  Her mouth opened but no words came. Maybe if she squeezed her eyes shut and wished really hard, time would go back and she could pick out a pair of decent shoes so Sebastian wouldn’t have to come in here and find … that.

  Alicia tried again. ‘Not women like me.’

  Watching Alicia kneel in front of him, unable to meet his eyes, made Sebastian wish he’d toned down the teasing. Her parents had obviously been way too uptight, making their daughter too embarrassed to even want something as basic as pleasure. It pissed him off that someone as fiery as Alicia could be was forced to stifle all that passion.

  Though he suspected there was more to it. Growing up in the home of an earl with a reputation as clean as a whistle meant he either had deep enough pockets to buy silence, or was ruthlessly strict with his family. Part of him wished it was the former. The thought of a younger Alicia having to deal with her father’s wrath didn’t sit right with him.

  ‘Come on.’ He got to his feet and held out his hand.

  She frowned at him. ‘Sebastian, I don’t feel like going out.’

  ‘How about some Dutch courage and a takeaway instead?’ Her eyes widened and some of the pink seeped out of her face. ‘We can work on the press release. What you have is great, but you don’t have all the details of how we met hammered out. I can help with dates.’

  ‘Um …’

  He took her arms and pulled her up. Alicia stumbled closer and he wrapped his arms around her for support. Not the wisest move, considering her hips now pressed flush to his, spiking his blood flow with a shot of arousal.

  ‘It’s fine. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m the one who’s slept with half the female population, remember?’

  A smile twitched up the corners of her lips. ‘In your dreams, maybe.’

  Stepping back to regain a little control, he slapped a hand over his heart. ‘You wound me.’

  ‘I’ve a feeling it would take more than that to put a dent in your ego,’ she said, her grin widening and her shoulders relaxing.

  Sebastian didn’t mind letting his ego be the focus of teasing if it helped her get over him finding the unwanted gift. ‘You’ve caught me.’

  He pulled his mobile out, then tugged her close to his side.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she asked.

  Loading up the camera, he said, ‘We need to let the world get used to us together, don’t we? I know we’re staying home but no one else has to know. Instagram will fix that.’

  She frowned as the front camera came on and captured their heads. ‘But –’

  ‘Say cheese,’ he said, then snapped the photo.

  He entered the caption: Finally get to take my stunning girlfriend, @AliciaSimpson out for dinner. #GoodTimes, then hit send.

  ‘Sebastian, I wasn’t ready,’ she protested.

  He showed her the picture and said, ‘You’re beautiful, don’t worry. Now where do you keep the takeaway menus?’

  Mai flicked through the pages of her diary from the previous year. What started so great, so beautiful, had ended so cruelly that she sometimes wished Sebastian would come down with something awful – like malaria.

  Other times, like tonight, she just felt sad and unloved.

  Skipping to February, she remembered her birthday. Sebastian had trained so hard for almost a month. She’d barely seen him. He’d taken the fourteenth off, arranged for them to fly to Paris that morning, and they’d had a very romantic dinner with the Eiffel Tower in full view. The champagne flowed all night and when dessert came, she found the seven-carat diamond ring that had given her hope that things would get better between them.

  She’d realised then that she was adored, cared for. He’d shown her just how much, telling her how beautiful she was, but she knew he was just being nice – the winter had taken her up a dress size and she hadn’t been feeling great about her new size ten figure.

  But that night in Paris, she’d forgotten her worries as he’d made her feel sexy, loved, and like the only person in his world.

  A tear dripped onto the paper and she wiped her eyes, not wanting to ruin the ink that described her last perfect day. After all, she’d only agreed to marry him for financial security – something she’d never had growing up in different foster homes around the UK. Plus, she had liked the attention, the way he treated her like she was precious. She couldn’t remember a time she’d felt that cared for. Maybe if her mother hadn’t been a smackhead she would have been cherished growing up, and would have seen Sebastian’s bullshit for what it was sooner. A scheme used by men who thought they could stick their dick in anything that moved, no matter who was at home waiting for them to return.

  Mai slammed the diary shut with a shriek. Jack was the man she needed. Someone who loved her for who she was and always would. She should start appreciating him more. After all, who took her back after she left him when Sebastian seduced her into false security?

  Jack wouldn’t have led her on, made her care about him, and then dropped her so hard the bones in her legs shattered. Jack wouldn’t do that at all.

  She heard the front door of the house open and glanced at the clock. It wasn’t anywhere near his local pub’s closing time, but he was back, and she was going to show him exactly how much she appreciated him.

  After hiding her diary in the cabinet next to the bed, she stripped, letting her clothes fall to the floor. He was in the doorway before she’d taken a step and the gleam in his blue eyes along with the way he swayed a little told her he’d had a good few drinks, but not too much to not make love to her.

  Mai sat down on the bed with her legs open, her gaze never leaving his.

  ‘You gonna let me fuck you hard, babe?’ he asked, his words a little slurred.

  Anticipation throbbed in her pulse points. Passion was uncontrolled, and that’s exactly how a man who was crazy about her should make love to her. None of that slow, sensual shit she got with Sebastian.

  ‘Hard as you like. If it’s not rough it isn’t fun, right?’ So said Lady Gaga, anyway.

  Jack pulled off his coat then unzipped his jeans. He didn’t take them off, just pulled his cock through the zip. She frowned, seeing she had her work cut out for her. It was always like this to start with. She’d have to blow him first just to get it hard enough to enjoy.

  When he came closer though, she tipped her chin and let him shove it into her mouth. With impatience making her clit throb harder, Mai went to work like a Dyson, bobbing her head and moaning like having his dick in her mouth was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced. It worked: in minutes he grew enough that he was thrusting into her throat, past her protesting gag reflex.

  When her eyes started to stream, she pushed at his hips until he pulled out. ‘I want you to make love to me now.’

  He pulled her off the bed, turned her around, and wrapped an arm
around her lower stomach. She bent over to give him better access, propping herself up on the bed and made a strangled noise when he pounded into her like he couldn’t wait another second.

  That was just the beginning. Jack swung his hips wildly, screwing into her over and over again. She could feel the pressure building at her core, the delicious swirl of heat gathering between her legs. The sting on her ass from where his skin slapped into hers only heightened the sensations.

  Fisting his hands in the hair at her nape so hard her eyes watered again, he pulled her back onto his cock over and over again. She loved it when he got all ferocious and powerful in bed. Sure, she’d hurt for days but the orgasm steadily building would keep her going for longer.

  Since he was holding most of her weight she reached a hand toward her clit, but he slapped it away.

  ‘You’ll come on my cock with just my cock.’ His growl was what did it.

  She tumbled over the edge as a full-blown orgasm pulsed through her. It was so epic she barely felt him withdraw, but she did feel it when his dick breached her anus.

  Mai couldn’t help it. She acted on reaction and tensed her muscles. That only made the discomfort at being penetrated hurt more, but Jack pounded away, seemingly oblivious to her pain. She gritted her teeth, resolved to do this for him after what he’d given her. After everything he’d done for her, how could she not?

  But silent tears streamed down her face as his thrusts became harder and harder. The way he was holding her hair hurt instead of heightening her pleasure. A moan escaped her throat but Jack mistook the reason.

  ‘You love this, babe, don’t you? You love me in your arse.’

  She couldn’t reply, not without releasing a sob. Instead she tried to relax. When his thrusts got so fast and the agony so severe she thought he might have ripped her insides, she was about to scream.

  But one last jerk of hips was all it took for him to go over the edge. The shudder that racked through him told her he’d found his pleasure, then he pulled out. Collapsing onto the bed, she kept her face away so he wouldn’t see the dampness on her cheeks.

  She heard him undress, then he was in bed beside her. Normally she’d curl up next to him, but there seemed to be a canyon between their bodies and she was raw, physically and emotionally.