Scandal (Tainted #1) Read online

  What would the neighbours think? Before she’d have cared more, but now she couldn’t bring herself to.

  ‘What do you want, Sebastian?’ Couldn’t he have emailed? That would have been easier to deal with.

  ‘Mostly to apologise –’

  ‘Well, now you have.’ Her heart hurt, everything hurt, and his spicy smell brought a barrage of memories back, only intensifying the pain. She tried to shut the door, but he stuck his foot in the way before she could.

  ‘Wait!’

  He shoved hard against the door, and her irritation won over the hurt. She pulled the thing wide. ‘So you can patronise me some more like you did last week? Why don’t you bugger off and leave me alone, Sebastian? You’ve made it perfectly clear where I am on your list of things you care about.’

  ‘That’s not …’ He glanced over his shoulder at her neighbour making her way up the stairs, then forced his way inside. She backed up, too angry to speak. When he shut the door, he said, ‘It’s you. You’re the reason I thought I had to end it.’

  ‘So we’ve moved from patronising to being mean. OK, if that’s what you need to ease your guilt –’

  He grabbed her shoulders. ‘Will you let me finish? Please.’

  Shrugging out of his hold, she glared at him, determined not to let him see how much this was killing her.

  Sebastian stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared back, waiting for her to agree. For the first time she noticed his eyes, full of pain and underscored with dark smudges like he’d barely slept all week.

  Her anger cooled off a little as sympathy took its place. He was training hard, he really wanted to make a go of his career and thinking they could make it work had been a pipe dream. She nodded for him to go on, though she’d rather curl up into a ball and let misery have her for a few hours, maybe even days.

  ‘I’m sorry, Alicia. Sorry because I was wrong, sorry because I pushed you into being with me, and I’m sorry because despite knowing you’d be better off with someone else, someone who doesn’t have a hectic training schedule, I can’t let you go.’

  She blinked back tears, her head spinning and her heart racing. ‘I don’t understand.’

  He stepped closer, so she had to crane her neck to look at him. He wasn’t smiling, and that serious expression was back. ‘I told you my career came first. All week without you I’ve not cared about any of it. I’ve been too busy missing you like crazy.’

  She backed up into the living room, too scared to hope and still too hurt from the last time he left to believe this was real.

  But even if it wasn’t a dream, they were finished. She had the press release all drawn up. She was getting over him. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’

  The pain crumpling his face took her breath away. ‘You love me, you can’t just ignore that. I thought –’

  ‘What?’ How did he know?

  ‘The last night we were together, you said so. Just as you were falling asleep.’

  She made it over to the armchair before her legs gave out. No tears came despite the way rejection and pain sliced her heart in half – again and again. He’d known. When he walked away from her, told her they could never be together, he’d known exactly how she felt and left anyway.

  ‘I want you to leave now.’ Her voice was surprisingly steady, even though she was shaken to the core. ‘I never want to see you again.’

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Sebastian knelt in front of her, placing his hands on either side of her legs. Wise of him not to touch her. She’d never hit anyone in her life but she was tempted to smack him a good one now.

  ‘I love you too. It’s why I thought I had to leave. Life with me is going to be tough. I’m going to be exhausted for weeks on end and I didn’t want you going through that. Then you left your job and I panicked, thinking you’d given up everything for me.’

  Her lower lip trembled and she pressed them together. She was hanging on by a thread and he admitting he loved her didn’t help with her resolve. ‘What’s changed?’

  ‘Watching my parents. They’re so happy, Alicia, and my mum doesn’t feel cheated at all even though I did growing up. I’d rather have a home base. Somewhere we can stay and raise a family when the time comes, but you have holidays at Maine, don’t you? We can haggle for more so you can come with me to the tournaments if you want. After each one I’ll take a few weeks off and we can go away somewhere or stay at home. As long as we’re together.’

  ‘I quit Maine, remember? I didn’t go back,’ she said, because she couldn’t think of a way to respond to the rest of what he’d said.

  ‘That’s OK. I’ll support you through whatever you want to do. I just want you close, with me, and I promise to pay you all the attention you deserve.’ His eyes were sincere and her heart swelled.

  She believed him and wanted what he had to offer. It wouldn’t be perfect, but she’d known that for so long and a part of her had come to accept it. But first she had to give him Mai’s note and hope that once and for all he could forgive himself, otherwise how was he ever going to believe that she wasn’t going to up and leave him at the first bump they faced?

  She pulled the envelope from her pocket and handed it to him. ‘Mai came here and asked me to give you this. She says it’s an apology and admits all the lies she’s told to make money from your misery. She did this so you could have your revenge.’

  But Alicia knew him better than that – Sebastian wouldn’t be so callous. As she watched him read the note with a slight frown creasing his brow, she just hoped this gave him the same closure Mai wanted.

  When he finished reading, he ran a hand through his hair. ‘You didn’t have to show me that. Most people wouldn’t have.’

  Unease skittered up her spine. Had Mai lied, begged in the note for another chance along with the apology? ‘I thought it might let you forgive yourself if nothing else.’

  He looked at her then, really looked at her, like he’d never seen her before. ‘It has, really. I just meant that you had no idea whether that’s what it said, but you gave it to me anyway and believed in me enough to trust me. There’s not a jealous bone in your body, is there?’

  Since he was being so honest, she told the truth. ‘I do, sometimes. Today, when she came by and said your name like she missed you, I was jealous of her.’

  ‘But you thought I didn’t love you then,’ he said.

  Alicia nodded. ‘There might be times when I feel jealous, Sebastian, but I know you love me now. I won’t jump to conclusions without speaking to you first.’ She remembered what Mai did after Wimbledon, and wanted to reassure him she wouldn’t do the same thing.

  ‘I know you won’t, and I’m going to prove to you every day that you have nothing to worry about.’ He took her face in his hands and kissed her like she was adored completely.

  What she said to him at her sister’s engagement party was true, it wasn’t all about sex for her. But right now her body roared to life again and she wanted him for more than pleasure. She wanted the connection. Alicia pulled back, her breath coming too fast.

  ‘I’d like a demonstration of how you plan to pay me attention. It might help me make a decision.’ Though her heart had made up her mind for her, and she didn’t hide the love she felt from him – instead let it shine through with her smile.

  Sebastian tugged her to the edge of her chair, then hugged her waist hard. ‘Thank God. I was ready to beg. And I thought going to see your father would be the hard part.’

  ‘You went to see my father?’ she squeaked.

  He kissed her thigh, then looked up with a smile. ‘After the police left at the party, he told me that if I could look into his eyes and promise I’d take care of you and protect you then I’d have his blessing. Then I was too hung up on making false promises and worrying about hurting you that I couldn’t do it. I went back yesterday and convinced him I’d love you forever, just not in his way.’

  Tears leaked from her eyes and her breath caught. ‘Thank you. Y
ou didn’t have to do that. We shouldn’t have to live our lives the way he wants us to.’

  ‘We won’t have to, not again. He doesn’t understand it, but he accepts that.’

  Threading her fingers through his hair, she said, ‘Good. Now enough about my father. I’d like to see what else you can do with that mouth of yours.’

  He looked up at her, his cheeky smile flashing briefly but then the serious expression came back. ‘Is this what you really want?’

  She cupped his face with her hands, her heart melting at the worry in his gaze. ‘I’ve told you over and over that sex isn’t all that matters. Neither is what other people think. I love you, Sebastian. I forgive you for being an idiot.’

  His grin came back, the one that suggested he had a few ideas she’d like. ‘Let me make it up to you properly.’

  Sebastian carried her through to the bedroom, kissing her nose, face, and lips as he went. She didn’t want slow and sexy, not now she had him back and everything was right. She stripped him like it had been years instead of days and she was starved for him.

  He quickly got with the program, teasing her with his mouth as he removed her clothes, and by the time she was naked she was ready for him. Alicia dragged him to the edge of the bed and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling his head down for a kiss. He entered her immediately.

  His thrusts were slow, sensual, and almost drove her mad. The kissing was equally languorous and had her more worked up than if he’d continued with the hard and fast. As she trembled with pleasure, his lips brushed her jaw and neck, and all the while he told her how much he’d missed her in his life. Before he found his release, she managed to assure him she felt the same.

  When they were both sated, he pulled her close. ‘Is it too soon to go house hunting?’

  She grinned. ‘You’re that desperate for a ball and chain?’

  He looked at her seriously. ‘I’ve been coming home to you for weeks. I don’t think we should change that.’

  She thought about how much she liked having him around, having his stuff in her space and had to agree. ‘OK, I’ll agree on one condition.’

  He raised a brow.

  ‘You let me keep working on the charity. I miss it.’

  He kissed her slowly at first, almost reverently. But then she opened to him and pulled him closer. As their breath sped and his body grew deliciously hard against hers, Alicia forgot all about her condition.

  He pulled away, gasping for air. ‘I think I can allow that, but have a condition of my own.’

  ‘You’re giving a volunteer worker conditions?’ she asked, baffled.

  He kissed her softly. ‘More of a request, actually. I’d like you to marry me.’

  She grinned, her heart full to bursting. ‘Don’t guys usually get down on one knee and hold out a ring when they say that?’

  Shaking his head, he said, ‘I don’t want us to get engaged, I’ve done that before. I’ll buy you whatever ring you want as a wedding present. What do you say?’

  She grabbed his hair, pulled him down an inch or so, then said, ‘I like the sound of that. Do you have a date in mind?’

  ‘No, but sooner works for me.’

  ‘Me too,’ she agreed.

  Trailing a finger along her jaw, he said, ‘You really are amazing, Blondie. Or should I start calling you Mrs Collins to be?’

  She laughed. ‘You’re not half bad yourself, Collins. But I think Mr Blondie has a better ring to it.’

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  Published by Accent Press Ltd 2015

  ISBN 9781783757541

  Copyright © Aimee Duffy 2015

  The right of Aimee Duffy to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  The story contained within this book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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