Scandal (Tainted #1) Read online

  He didn’t even want more – with her, or anyone. She must have imagined the way she thought he felt. She was inexperienced when it came to relationships – look how wrong she’d been about Darrell! She knew that putting her heart out there could end this way, but it still split her in two nonetheless.

  There was no way she could hang around now, and watch him go. Blinking back tears, she picked up the handbag and coat she’d left over the sofa in her excitement to get started with her new business.

  ‘I have somewhere to be. You can pack in peace.’

  She got to the door before he spoke again. ‘Are you going back to Maine? If he’s mad I can –’

  ‘That’s not really any of your business, Sebastian. Not anymore.’ She closed the door and headed for the staircase, determined to hold it together until she was somewhere more private.

  Though his dad had retired, training with him was always more challenging than with James. Probably because the guy still played every day, but Sebastian’s heart hadn’t been in it since he arrived at his parents’ home in the South of France a week ago.

  ‘Son, I think you need to hire a new trainer,’ his dad said when half-time came.

  Sebastian didn’t comment, just picked up his water bottle and took a long drink. He wasn’t even out of breath, he had barely put any effort into the game at all. There was a huge Alicia-shaped hole in his life and he missed her like crazy. It was like she’d taken custody of his motivation, the love of the game, and his desire to win.

  ‘Leave him alone. This isn’t about tennis.’ His mum came out of the house, a sad smile on her face. ‘Is Mai still harassing you? There hasn’t been a story for a while.’

  He shook his head. ‘Not since she tried to have me arrested.’

  Of course his mother had found out about the incident – the whole world had. The press took Alicia at her word and now everyone was on Team Sebastian. But that wasn’t fair either, he didn’t want Mai being painted as the villain. She was just another woman whose heart he’d ripped in two. He hoped the backlash didn’t last for long.

  ‘Then why are you hitting the ball like your racket’s made of dough?’ his dad asked.

  Scrubbing a hand over his face, he knew coming to France had been a bad idea. His parents would pick at him until they got the full story, but he didn’t want a lecture on how stupid leaving Alicia had been. They wanted him to be happy, and she made him happy. Problem was, he could never do the same for her. Not until he retired, and by then she might have woken up and realised she deserved better than an absentee partner.

  Sebastian pulled himself together. ‘I’ll play better this time.’

  He did, but only through force of will, and even then it wasn’t enough to beat his dad. Dinner that night was torture, watching his parents fawn over each other like they were in the first throes of love. Maybe they were. After all, they didn’t have much alone time that he could remember growing up. He was almost ready to call it a night and give them some privacy, but after a hushed conversation between the two, his dad beat him to it.

  Curiosity got the better of him. When his dad left, he asked his mum, ‘How did you cope when he was training?’

  Her brows pushed together like she was figuring out he wasn’t just there for a visit, but she didn’t press him for information. ‘I love your father very much. Leaving home and travelling with him was the best decision I ever made. It meant I could stay close to him always.’

  ‘But didn’t you feel … rejected? Like he was paying more attention to his career?’

  She sat next to him and took his hand. ‘If that was true you wouldn’t be here, would you?’

  He cringed. That was a bit too much information, but then his mum said, ‘She must be very special to you if you would rather hurt yourself by leaving her than risk her feeling like you don’t care.’

  Sebastian couldn’t answer straight away. All he could think about was waking up next to Alicia, hearing her laugh at one of his jokes, and seeing her hot and flushed beneath him, her gaze shining with more than pleasure. It had been love, real love. Not what he had with Mai – that had been two people desperate for a connection trying to make it work. With Alicia, everything was genuine.

  ‘She is. She’s amazing.’

  She squeezed his hand. ‘Does she love you?’

  He remembered her in his arms, probably asleep, declaring her love. Then the next day, giving up her job. Despite what she claimed, he had no doubt she did it so she could be with him. Would she do that if she wasn’t trying to really make a go of it?

  If he was honest, he’d seen her emotions long before that – the night at her sister’s engagement party when she admitted she cared for him. If he’d been paying attention to his own feelings, he’d have realised the way he felt then was more too.

  ‘She does.’ He swallowed hard. ‘And I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her.’

  It was true. At this point he was considering giving up on his career. What would be the point in doing something if he didn’t love it anymore? She was the only person in the world who made him feel he’d rather have nothing and her than have everything in the world except her.

  His mother sighed. ‘Then what are you doing here with us? Go get your girl.’

  If only things could be that easy.

  Sebastian was glad he opted for a suit as he was shown to a chair in a hall he never thought he’d walk through again. Either there was a door open somewhere or the place really was haunted and the goosebumps on his arms were caused by the snobs of generations past conveying their disapproval.

  Taking in the artwork – no doubt genuine – the marble floor, the high, arching ceilings, he knew why the house had no warmth at all. The place looked more like a museum. There weren’t photos of the family who lived here, only the respected men throughout the bloodline had a portrait – not their wives.

  If there was one thing he was sure of, this wasn’t the home he’d want to raise a family in – he was pretty sure Alicia would agree with him on that score.

  The door to the study opened and Henry appeared in the hall. ‘Master will see you now.’

  Sebastian had to bite his tongue before he scoffed at the way Henry called him ‘master’. It was no wonder the old earl had a God complex. Instead, he made his way into the study and closed the door behind him.

  Arthur was already seated on his throne, wearing a scowl that was becoming familiar. ‘I see you’re still with my daughter, at least publicly. There are measures I can take that I’ve been reluctant to so far, but you are pushing me to my limits.’

  The icy threat didn’t faze him much, but he had a feeling Arthur would follow through if he messed this up. Luckily, Sebastian had prepared for worse.

  ‘You told me if I could look you straight in the eye and promise I can give Alicia everything she needs then I’d have your blessing.’

  He waited while Arthur chewed that over like a bulldog sucking on a wasp. ‘You could not, I believe.’

  ‘I can now,’ he said, keeping eye contact.

  Arthur leaned forward on the desk. ‘Had enough of a break with the French trollops, have you? Now you have the audacity to ask for my blessing?’

  He ground his teeth, ignoring the jibe about the women. ‘If your PI followed me to France you’ll know I spent all week with my parents.’

  ‘Until the next temptation comes along, then you’ll bring embarrassment onto this family.’

  Now he slid into the chair and leaned in. Waited until he had the older man’s full attention. ‘There won’t be anyone else. I love Alicia and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making her so happy it overshadows the agony of her childhood. And though I don’t need or want your blessing, deep down Alicia does. So what’s it going to be, Arthur?’

  Chapter Twenty-five

  All things considered, week two of her new life was going better than expected. She’d just had a meeting with a new potential client who would end up being her third if he
signed. All of them were giving her on-going work if she did a good job, and that would make her a steady income. She’d barely have to touch her savings for a while.

  But now came the hard part of her plan. She’d been putting it off for so long but she couldn’t leave it any longer, not when the media were speculating Sebastian’s abrupt departure to France three weeks early. She had to write a press release announcing the break-up before the rumours got out of control. Or worse, Mai got back on the media bandwagon.

  But putting ‘the end’ in print made it too real and she’d been avoiding thinking about him as much as she could. It was either that, or curl up in her bed letting the misery wash over her.

  A knock at her door broke her out of the awful thoughts. She crossed the room, glad of the distraction, and opened it wide. She frowned, not recognising the woman in front of her until she smiled.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she snapped.

  Mai looked different: her hair was coloured chestnut and shiny, and there was barely any make-up on a face that looked fuller, healthier, even with the hint of bruises beneath her foundation. Still, there was no denying who it was.

  ‘I want to give this to Sebastian.’ Mai held up a small envelope.

  The way she said his name made jealousy burn at the back of Alicia’s throat, but she couldn’t feel that way. He wasn’t hers anymore. He’d never been hers. ‘He’s not here.’

  ‘Can you give it to him?’ When Alicia scowled, Mai hurried on to explain, ‘It’s not what you think. It’s an apology, for what I’ve done since the break-up. He can even give it to the media if he wants. All the lies are there and I want to set things right.’

  ‘Why not give it to the press yourself?’ she asked, her suspicion rising.

  Mai’s head dipped for a second. ‘They’re already twisting every word I’ve said. And anyway, I’ve made so much off his misery then lost it all. I don’t want to drag it all up again but Sebastian deserves his revenge, if that’s what he wants.’

  ‘Drugs will drain your cash faster than most things,’ Alicia guessed, not quite ready to feel sympathy for a woman who’d hurt the man she loved.

  Mai pursed her lips. ‘I deserved that, what I did must have been hard on you too. I’m sorry. But no, not drugs. I got a taste of my own medicine when my partner left me and took every penny I’d made.’

  Alicia felt a pang of sympathy, but she wasn’t going to let herself be played. ‘And you’re really sorry, or were you hoping Sebastian would help you out?’

  Her eyes widened. ‘No! I just want to make things right so we can move on. There’s nothing I want from either of you. Not even your forgiveness.’

  Alicia couldn’t doubt the sincerity in Mai’s voice, so she took the offered note. ‘I’ll see that he gets this.’

  She had his parents’ address somewhere – passing it on didn’t mean she’d have to see him and have her heart ripped in two all over again. And Mai’s apology might be the thing that makes him forgive himself for what happened. Not that she had any hope it would make a difference for her.

  ‘Thank you. I really mean that,’ Mai said.

  Alicia didn’t know what to say, so she just smiled.

  ‘I can see why he loves you. You’re kind and beautiful, without make-up or fancy hairstyles. For a long time I thought that’s where I was going wrong, but I wanted money and adoration more than real love. It’s time I traded in the falsity for something that matters.’

  She didn’t correct Mai’s assumption that Sebastian loved her – and not because she couldn’t trust the skinny brunette as far as she could throw her. But because the pain that hit her in the chest was too much to bear.

  ‘I’ll leave you now. Thanks again.’

  Mai walked off and she closed the door behind her, squeezing her eyes tight in case the waterworks started again. But, like Mai, she had to put the past behind her so she could move on. Arming herself with a glass of wine, she settled on the sofa with her laptop and decided to get the final part over with.

  Pulling up a word document, her eyes brimmed over and her chest hurt so much she struggled to breathe. Get a grip and focus. You need to do this.

  By the time the first draft was finished she was proud of herself for not shedding a single tear, though she was sure she’d rubbed her eyes raw. Didn’t matter, she’d done what she had to and the pain in her heart would fade with time. Time made everything more bearable. She’d learned that, if nothing else, over the years.

  She called a takeaway – pizza, not the fancy Italian she’d shared with Sebastian – then got down to working on her business. By the time her door knocked again, she was more than ready for a break, but it was a pity her appetite hadn’t come back yet.

  Grabbing her purse, she made her way to the door and opened it wide. Her jaw dropped a little and she had the urge to slap herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. After all, the day had been long and he was the last person she’d expect to see. Mai returning would be less of a surprise.

  ‘Can I come in?’

  Mai stopped for a coffee at a shop around the corner, wondering why the pain inside hadn’t faded yet. Wasn’t that how karma worked? She did something nice then she was supposed to feel better. Cleansed or whatever.

  Instead her stomach was full of bubbly acid and her heart throbbed painfully. All she had to do was think of her shift at the bar later, where all week customers had gotten drunk and asked inappropriate things about her relationship with Sebastian just to tease her. She was beyond misery.

  When would it end?

  After paying way too much for a skinny latte, she moved to a table near the back, facing away from the entrance, and slipped her oversized shades back on. The last thing she needed was to bump into more of the horde on Team Sebastian. She just wanted to enjoy her coffee in peace.

  But a man slipped into the chair across from her, almost making her drop the cup. She scowled, noticing his snappy shirt, trousers, and hair that was far too well-styled to belong to a man who enjoyed women. Gossip columnist? That was the last thing she needed today.

  ‘I have an offer for you,’ he said.

  ‘Not interested.’ She made to get up, but he grabbed her wrist. ‘Let go of me!’

  He smirked and the way his eyes gleamed scared her a little. ‘Keep your voice down. Nobody knows you’re here. Do you want to let the whole café know?’

  She didn’t and suspected this stranger knew. She sat down and asked, ‘Who are you?’

  ‘Just think of me as your new best friend. The name’s Kevin.’

  He held out his hand for her to shake, but she just stared at him, waiting for a further explanation. She had a feeling this meeting wasn’t down to chance.

  He sighed, pulling his hand away. ‘I have a proposition for you.’

  Mai shook her head. She’d been right with her first impression. This man was a journalist. A snappy dressed one, she’d give him that. But she was done with the media. ‘I’m not interested in selling anymore stories. That part of my life’s over. I’ve moved on.’

  He cocked an eyebrow. ‘To a grimy bar in the East End? Dahling, a woman like you should be spoiled with riches, not serving cheap beer to degenerates.’

  Her gaze dropped to her mug while she fought against the urge to have more, to get out of there once and for all. But at the cost of dragging up the past and risking humiliation again? No, what she’d done was wrong and she was paying the price.

  ‘It’s honest work,’ she said, glaring at him.

  He shrugged. ‘What I want your help with is uncovering the truth. No lies required. And I’m willing to pay you handsomely. With expenses.’

  Frowning, she tried to make sense of what he was saying. ‘Why would I need expenses if you want to buy a story from me?’

  Kevin laughed. ‘No, that’s not what I want from you. That ship has sailed, don’t you think?’

  Maybe, but then, ‘What do you want then?’

  He leaned forward and whispered. �
��You know the kind of dirt that sells to the press. That’s what I want from you. I need you to dig up whatever you can on a woman. I’ll let you know her location, fly you wherever it takes, and pay your living expenses until there’s enough there to put an end to her engagement.’

  Flights, living expenses, was this guy for real? ‘You want help to break up a couple?’

  The smirk was back, and the gleam was evil this time. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. They’re not in love. It’s all a sham.’

  She doubted that. People didn’t have marriages made on paper these days. There had to be something else he wasn’t telling her. ‘Why does it matter to you? Aren’t you –?’

  ‘Gay?’ he asked, then laughed. ‘Very. It matters to me because the woman in question is marrying my fiancé.’

  Mai gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. ‘Why is he doing that?’

  ‘Blackmail. So you see? I want enough dirt on her so I can get him out of the engagement.’

  Mai nodded. She did see, and this would not only pay her bills and maybe give her some savings, but she’d be doing the right thing by helping. The proper thing. Maybe then her life would turn around and karma would give her a slice of something good.

  ‘Who’s the woman?’ she asked, curious now.

  Kevin sat back, linking his fingers on the table in front of him. ‘I believe you know her sister already. The woman marrying my fiancé is Sylvia Simpson.’

  Alicia stared, unblinking, until her eyes stung from the lack of moisture. Her heart pounded to life like it had been waiting for him, missing him as much as she was. But every thud hurt a little more than she could take.

  ‘No,’ she said and shook her head for good measure. She couldn’t survive another rejection, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep from telling him the truth. That she was in love with him and he’d broken her heart when he left.

  ‘Then I’ll say what I came to say.’ There was no bluff in his eyes, only determination and his voice echoed in the hall.